The Silent Witness.
When your mind and heart are truly open abundance will flow to you effortlessly and easily.
Question:
Hi Deepak. At the age of 3, I fell off a slide and landed head first on the concrete. The only thing I remember was looking at my physical self and thinking "I can't move my body" – and I was seeing this from the "eyes behind the eyes" place. The watcher, witness, observer that is aware of the most subtle of thoughts. I certainly didn't acknowledge this as a good thing, and in fact created a rather anxious and fearful existence for myself. I always thought, "If I could just get rid of this, then maybe I could meditate. Then maybe I could know inner peace." I have spent most of my life isolated and even if a two week face-down in the bed was to occur, I would still never, not even for a moment, feel alone. Where perhaps many people would see this as a great thing, I never even thought to embrace it. Although there has only been observing without anything attached to it, I think because I grew up in such a judgment al and criticizing environment, I started to believe that this too, was just another set of eyes/another way of keeping tabs on any 'mistake' or slip up so I could be reminded at how terribly flawed I was. It was only in the last two years that I had learned about this observing from you and other teachers. I do try to turn toward/look from these eyes. I try to stop and just "be" when I'm looking at nature. I practice being in and accepting this moment as it is. All of these things that I am "trying" to do, are my natural self, and so by trying it seems as if I'm missing the point. Without trying, I'm a completely anxious spaz feeling trapped within this costume, which is the same feeling I've been feeling since that earliest memory, without a break. I don't know the best way of saying that I "need" to wake up, that I "have" to know who I really am, that I "must" die before I die – without the yearning being the issue. But I can't live the way I've been living, with this 40 year awareness that I'm not really living at all. Any suggestions would be so greatly appreciated. Thank you for all that you do.
Response:
Our higher self when awakened has the attribute of being a silent witness because it is an abiding conscious presence accompanying all experience. That is different than seeing yourself in an out of body experience and very different than being self-critical or judgmental about perceived shortcomings. I think these misunderstandings are making it hard for you to see how to be your true self, or silent witness. When you stop ‘trying’ to be in the moment, you feel anxious and trapped, so you think those are your only options. However, the anxiety is an ego defense, and when you let your mind release and get past that with meditation, you are there in that awake, still presence automatically. As that experience gets stronger over time with meditation, that inner self grows as a conscious witness presence that is always there without trying. That awareness is what ‘living in the moment’ really means.
Love,
Deepak
Wowww nice t-shirt.......made in Perú!!!!
I have the exact shirt. My friend went to home to Peru and brought me one back!
Debra, My daughter went to Peru last summer, she brought me back this same t-shirt. Me and Deepak dress alike! Who would have thought.