January 16, 2012

Struggling with Forgiveness.

Quote.

When your mind and heart are truly open abundance will flow to you effortlessly and easily.

Question:

I am struggling with forgiveness. My fiancé left me to be with someone else. I am hurt, angry, confused, and sadly, still in love with him. I want to forgive him but forgiving him seems like I would be saying "what you did is ok", and it's NOT. I know holding onto these negative feelings is only hurting me, but I don't know HOW to let it go. Please help me!

Answer:

It’s important to be clear that forgiveness does not convey the message that what they did was okay. But not forgiving means that you hold on to your toxic blame and resentment and inflict more emotional damage on yourself. That is definitely not okay.
One way to help you let go of this recrimination is to try to depersonalize this as much as possible. Look at the feelings of hurt that have been exposed in you as an opportunity to become stronger, more self-sufficient and more self-loving. This helps you from seeing what happened as a completely negative thing that a bad person did to you which you don’t deserve. By depersonalizing it, and recognizing that this situation is revealing an area you need to grow in at this time, you can reinterpret this rejection instead as guidance from your higher self away from a relationship which isn’t appropriate for you right now toward the evolution you do need at this time. So rather than trying to get him to accept blame for his actions, you are recognizing that he is just acting as the unwitting messenger of your inner wisdom leading you toward your real growth.

Love,
Deepak
 

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0 comments
  1. arjun

    beautifully put Deepak, u always manage to find the source.

  2. I am in a similar situation. Forgiveness is toxic and in time you will realize that truely this is your real path, and your man was a gift only meant for a lesson. More lessons will come. But now you can protect yourself from wolves in sheeps clothing.

    Shannon

  3. Plush Skin

    Well said Deepak, "The unwitting messenger of our inner wisdom leading us toward our real growth." Forgiveness is a powerful act that not just releases the other person, but most importantly ourselves. There is a sense of freedom that exists within releasing unforgiveness. Life begins to flow freely without inhibitions. Soon she will realize that he served a great purpose in this game of life. It all serves the evolution of her soul in this lifetime. Be glad he walked away. Now it is up to her to learn from it, grow from within, and walk into the life that exists Now.

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