October 16, 2018

Split Soul.


When your mind and heart are truly open abundance will flow to you effortlessly and easily.


I am seventy years old and all of my life has been spent with more questions than answers.  Firstly, like most, I am multi-talented but apart from that, I have the capacity to “just know.” – I have never passed a primary grade and never have been formally educated.  Somehow I always have managed to bluff my way through life. As a result, always had good work and wages.  My life however has been a total lie.  I was able to convince potential employers that I was university educated and my work proved that I was.   In today’s world this could never happen.  I have been very fortunate. 


I was raised in a French Roman Catholic setting of boarding school with nuns.  At sixteen I was placed in what was called “the outside world.”  I came ill equipped and did not know the English language.  Somehow I managed to learn it quickly and though I know nothing of grammar and the rules of expressing and writing, I seem to be able to put my point across and write.  Simply put, I could not pass grade one and re-did it three times.  Because of my height and age I was placed in grade three only to repeat that for three years.  I was then placed in grade six and this was done three times.  I could never pass a test and today I still don’t know my original language or the rules of reading, writing and arithmetic.  In English it just comes to me.  I know my thoughts are not my own nor my talents for cooking and being able to function.  It’s as though I am in a walking dream. 


One of my favourite jobs was as “court clerk” listening to all the trials.  Soon it became evident to me what the verdicts would be and I seldom was wrong.  I always fancied myself as a surgeon and/or a court judge.  I understand the medical language and terminology quite well and able most times to diagnose someone’s illness before it manifested itself to the point it needed treatment.  There is no way I could ever have those two vocations because of my incapacity to learn.  I have failed every test ever taken in my life including my driver’s license that had to be done repeatedly, even though I have perfect driving skills and I become the components of the motor when I use a car or truck. I am also capable of diagnosing motor problems. 


Evidently, I have a lot of questions but one in particular is:  Is it possible that my soul is split perhaps in many different categories?  I sometimes feel because of my dreams that I am also living elsewhere and in particular, experiencing a very primitive life in another country.


I believe that living a life filled with more questions than answers is life well-lived, so congratulations. Your ability to excel in life even without the talent for passing tests, shows how indomitable your spirit is.

And while it’s possible that your dreams and experiences could be due to a fragmentation of your soul, I don’t think such a radical explanation is necessary. You have a strong connection to the knowledge and experience of your consciousness that extends beyond what you have learned in these last seventy years. The activation of some of these discreet packets of experience could account for the sense of separate lives. However, I would not characterize you as someone with a split soul. You are a complete soul with great diversity and strength.



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