January 3, 2022
Ask Deepak

Spiritually Helping Parents.


When your mind and heart are truly open abundance will flow to you effortlessly and easily.


Dear Deepak, I believe now, so wholeheartedly, that I can fulfill my wonderful dharma and my dreams, but I am still at high school (I am 18) and living with my parents. I worry so much about their stresses and the fact that they may never be truly happy and live their dharma. I have tried to get them to help themselves and be open to a spiritual path of self-realisation, and although open to the idea they are not pro-active with it. I am asking this question because I love them so much, but also because I suspect that it is a question for many spiritual seekers who want those around them to be happy. I have found so many answers, but my concerns for them pull me back from my bliss. It is hard for me to lead by example when the people I love and share a home with are not peaceful or happy. Why can’t I detach myself from their emotions? Is it the case that they are not destined to be spiritual people? Thank you.


Your loving concern about your parents’ happiness is admirable, but it is not within your power or anyone’s power to determine their parent’s happiness, or make spiritual decisions leading to their self-realization. That’s why it’s called ‘self-realization,’ not family realization. However, loving support and your inspiration by example can still be a powerful force of guidance. Your caring presence is effective and valuable, but don’t confuse or burden yourself with the understanding that spiritual growth is something you can do for another person if you love them enough. It is usually parents who struggle with this issue as their children grow up. A part of them wants their children to grow up into happy, successful adults without having to go through the consequences of making their own decisions and choices that they can see will be painful.  But that is the process of becoming an adult, no one can do it for you. It’s the same with the spiritual development and happiness of your parents. It’s not really happiness or peace of mind if you haven’t done it yourself.



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