February 15, 2012

Sexual Identity.


When your mind and heart are truly open abundance will flow to you effortlessly and easily.


Hi Deepak,
I have been confused about my sexuality for years, at the beginning I tried fitting myself into the lesbian community but that didn't last long, then I tried dating men and that was okay but I had re-current sexual dreams about being with women, now the latest label I gave myself is bisexual, the mind needs comfort that it fits in in some way but I have come to realize that my confusion with sexuality is the way my identity crisis manifests itself, deep down I'm not grounded in my true being, I feel like the observer in me is watching the ego self wrestle with things like sexuality to occupy itself, but there is no true reconciliation within, I am wondering if you could give me some advice on this matter?


Our sexual orientation is an aspect of who we are, but it is not the core of our spiritual self. You are quite right to see this struggle to find out where you fit in sexually with society as an opportunity and spur to find a deeper identity beyond your sexuality. Practicing meditation will give you a direct experience of your true self and that will be the basis for a genuine sense of inner reconciliation.


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  1. kpk

    It is a difficult question about one`s sexuality. There are 2 parts; one is what you feel, and deeper than that we are not our sexual identity, it is only part of who we are. The second part is our culture and society which often times does not reflect same sex relationships at all, or do so in a positive accepting way. This certainly influences our feeling of self acceptance and safety in the world starting with our families of origin. There is a lot of judgement from religion, straight people, and popular culture in general about being gay. Ultimately people want to fit in. I truly believe that there would be many more gay and lesbians in the world if it was more accepted. Many get into heterosexual marriages for the social acceptance. There is a lot of heterosexual privilege. It is getting better, yet from my perspective we have a long way to go and when equality truly happens (and it will) many will look back with shame around their behavior towards homosexuals. I feel that in general gay and lesbian people are more open and enlightened as people and have a lot to offer as we have had to put up with a lot of judgement and still love ourselves amidst narrow thinkers. Ultimately I believe we are all on a fluid continuum of sexuality and most of us are bisexual in various ratios of straight and gay percentages in ourselves that fluctuates throughout our lives. Having sex without being concerned about getting pregnant is quite a perk. There is no right and wrong with who you love. Love is love.

  2. Valery

    Dont struggle with yourself, seek harmony without sexual objective in your relations with other during a time. focus on truth essential qualities of others and yourself in relationship. and you will purify your experience with yourself and others. is it a female or a man. what is important is the essence in itself of that relation.

  3. Eric

    Paul please go live your boring life alone and stop bothering people who want a full life with your dumb remarks.

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