Pastor’s Wife.
When your mind and heart are truly open abundance will flow to you effortlessly and easily.
Question:
I’m a young South African woman who married at the age of 19 to a pastor who founded and is heading a Christian church. Over the last few years certain events have happened in my marriage that made me realize that I do not want to remain married to my husband and I do not see a future for myself as a leader in the traditional Christian church, but somehow my family and the elders around me are discouraging me from leaving my husband regardless of the fact that he has had a continuous extra marital affair, has anger problems which consists of a huge temper and pathological lying. Their message to me is that is how marriages are I just have to be a strong wife and hold on to my husband regardless because our marriage is ordained by God and therefore if I come out of it I will be diverting from the will of God. I’ve heard of a principle that you marry no one but yourself and I believe that if my husband is really a manifestation of the state of my consciousness then I have the right to step back even from my marriage and deal with those things within myself.
I’m afraid to make a mistake and throw away what the people in my society see as important (marriage) and yet I have a yearning to live an authentic life being true to what I feel in my heart is right…my husband is a good person and like everyone he has his weaknesses and mistakes but I feel I cannot live with him and I believe somehow my need to take a different direction in life might have brought forth every situation that has happened in our marriage thus far… What do I do?
Response:
You sound like an intelligent, mature, and thoughtful young woman, and your view of taking time to address the issues in you that are reflected in the marriage makes a lot of sense to me. This is especially true if your husband is not interested in talking and working through these issues with you. I appreciate the difficulty of finding your authentic life when your family and community only want you to conform to their expectations of you so that their own lives aren’t disturbed. But remember, this is your life, not theirs.
I admire that you are not just blaming your husband and running away, you are interested in using this difficulty as a way to uncover a deeper meaning in your life and a more authentic expression of your being. Your instincts are right on and I know you will find your way forward to a life lived more fully in God’s light.
Love,
Deepak
