January 17, 2012

Mother Daughter Rift.


When your mind and heart are truly open abundance will flow to you effortlessly and easily.


Dear Deepak, I respect your words of wisdom and I need some clarity with my sister and her 18 year old daughter. My sister raised my niece after her divorce, her father was in out of the picture but paid child support. They were inseparable when she was growing up, when she was around 12 my sister started online dating because up until then she had nobody in her life except her daughter. That’s when things changed and the fighting started. She planned a trip with her new boyfriend to Florida, and her daughter went to stay with her father, and never moved back. They have been in and out of the courts ever since. 

My sister cannot let go of the hurt she caused her from moving out, and my niece cannot forgive my sister for the online dating. She didn't even give her a xmas card or present, home for college break spending xmas with them is heartbreaking. I have a great relationship with her, but can't get through to her about the power of forgiveness. Can a daughter really hate her Mother. If you saw them together when she was young you would never believe this could happen. Thank you for your insight.

The daughter has been used to having her mother’s exclusive attention and affection. Now with the mother dating, she is afraid of losing that exclusivity. But since the daughter is now out of the house and away at college, this is an unhealthy overreaction. It’s time for her to realize it is not acceptable for her to think she should be telling her mother who she can date. I’m afraid there is no quick remedy for this situation, the daughter is just going to have to grow up and realize her behavior is inappropriate and counterproductive. The mother is going to have to be patient and loving from a distance until the daughter comes around.

Write Your Comment

  1. Poonam Dronamraju

    This is totally awesome advice. The mother should know that unconditional love is all prevailing it will win in the end, time will be the ultimate healer. Her daughter`s love currently is insulated with resentment, anger and hostility due to the fact that she felt vulnerable and lost control of her 12 year old life with her Mom. At some point in time her daughter needs to understand that it was rightful for her Mom to pursue her happiness. She had dedicated herself to her daughter for 12 years, the daughter should have a deep sense of gratitude for those 12 years that she had safety and all the love in the world. Ask any child that is brought up without love what a treasure they would find in love of that kind. So patience and loving from a distance, send her more and and more vibrations of love, kindness and compassion that your sister understands the hurt the daughter will receive it and respond as time passes. Mom should not feel guilty about hurting her daughter. She was left with another safe individual "The Dad", who has as much responsibility towards the child that the Mom has. I think the daughter has stories spinning in her head, possibly something that the Dad or someone that came down her path might have spun that her Mom abandoned her so she should feel sorrow over it, and hold a grudge and grievance against her Mom. Holding a grudge against a loved one is a taught behavior, we don`t hold grudges, what does Dr. Chopra say, "Animals don`t hold grievances", so why do we humans that are far superior and intelligent than animals.

  2. Tristan TruPisces Hampton

    Forgiveness is forgiveness but a lot of ppl find it difficult because the person who harmed them is often reluctant to put "it" all out on the table.

  3. Brigitte Huguet

    Impossible, absolutly I.M.P.O.S.S.I.B.L.E. ! a mother is a mother and the link is U.N.I.Q.U.E. really U.N.I.Q.U.E.; it`s mysterious and order of the S.A.C.R.E.D.. A time of life, we may disagree but it does not affect the L.O.V.E. so S.P.E.C.I.A.L. and so U.N.I.Q.U.E. that link us to our mothers. Peace and much L.O.V.E. Brigitte ♡

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