May 15, 2019

Managing Anger After a Loss.

Quote.

When your mind and heart are truly open abundance will flow to you effortlessly and easily.

Question:

I have been reading your book ‘The Path to Love’ and it has helped me understand myself a lot better. I realize the importance of the spiritual perspective of the marriage. I was able to identify areas where I was lacking as a partner. I am going through divorce from a 3 month marriage. My soon-to-be ex-wife left me because I could not meet her expectations of keeping her happy. Even though when I requested her to go for marriage counseling she refused and surprised me with sending divorce papers in mail. Obviously it left me devastated. I then started reading Eckhart Tolle and your books. I am doing much better emotionally and physically now compared to what I was couple of months ago. But I still find anger and resentment in my heart towards her and her family. I know that it is my ego which is making me feel that way, but I am finding it difficult to get past it. There are days when I feel sorry for her, because I realize that she is driven by her ego. But the days when I  receive or have to send legal papers or I get an email from her, it disturbs me and makes me angry. I never wanted to be in this position, I was willing to do everything to save my marriage but she refused to even acknowledge my efforts.
I would like to know, how can I train myself to not let anger control me and more importantly how to forgive her.

Response:

I commend you for endeavoring to take the high road in this difficult situation. Your letter underscores the point that no matter how committed and loving one side of the partnership may be, if the other side is not willing to cooperate or work together, then the marriage will not last.

Know that you have done what you could, and that you had a partner that for whatever reason was not interested in working on the marriage. In that sense, it is better that you know this now and end it after three months rather than living a sham of a marriage for 30 years. You are young and have your heart in the right place. Someone out there will be more than happy to make a life together with you.

Love,

Deepak

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