Dear Deepak: I have struggled most of my life with loneliness. I think I may be autistic but was never diagnosed. In school I did poorly but I completed university and earned a degree in teaching with honours. My main problem is that people agitate me. It's emotionally troubling for me to be around them. Their talks, movements , thoughts all make me boil. I think people feel the same around me. They avoid me and don't stay in the same room with me. I know I have a condition and my behaviour is abnormal compared to normal people because even my family doesn't socialise with me, except for my daughter. I am 42 years old and have been this way most if my life. I don't think I can change or unlearn my behaviour . I am not happy with it. Please advise. Thank you.

Dear Deepak: I have struggled most of my life with loneliness. I think I may be autistic but was never diagnosed. In school I did poorly but I completed university and earned a degree in teaching with honours. My main problem is that people agitate me. It's emotionally troubling for me to be around them. Their talks, movements , thoughts all make me boil. I think people feel the same around me. They avoid me and don't stay in the same room with me. I know I have a condition and my behaviour is abnormal compared to normal people because even my family doesn't socialise with me, except for my daughter. I am 42 years old and have been this way most if my life. I don't think I can change or unlearn my behaviour . I am not happy with it. Please advise. Thank you.

kindly if you can put more light in your responce on this very good question.i m wondering why its no need to go into anaylasis? how can we go to the root of this problem and how can we shift our attentions? any solutions ?

I find telling ourselves that 'They are probably unhappy' is a lie we tell ourselves to rationalize our jealousy. The truth is, when I'm jealous of someone it means deep down inside I KNOW I'm not doing enough. It also serves as a guideline to where I want to go. Most of the time I just feel inadequate because there are some really successful people in my family. I don't want to put them down because all that does is put me down also and minimize my chance of achievement. I want to become better, not bitter. It's easy to be bitter, you don't have to work on yourself you can just sit and complain instead of picking up whatever you need to in order to better yourself. Very recently, I had to deal with my own severe bout of envy. A relative of mine, who's in the same industry as me and who could have helped me in my career at one time but didn't, has won a significant international award. I celebrated her success, but I was kind of sad because I felt ignored by her in the past and felt perhaps it should have been me up there also. I don't know if she'll ever help me and I don't even know why she didn't before. She never gave me a reason. I could guess and guess, but maybe she wanted for me to learn on my own about the industry, like she did. Either way, it still doesn't take away from the fact she won. A part of me said 'Yeah, everyone thinks she's great, but she wouldn't even help her own family member.' However, maybe if she did spend time on an amateur like me, it would have cost her. I don't know and I can't say. She made her decision and she doesn't owe me anything. These are the thoughts that go through my mind, I try to piece together why I'm feeling the way I am. All I can do is work on getting better at what I do, praying, meditating and trying to be the best person I can be.

I find telling ourselves that 'They are probably unhappy' is a lie we tell ourselves to rationalize our jealousy. The truth is, when I'm jealous of someone it means deep down inside I KNOW I'm not doing enough. It also serves as a guideline to where I want to go. Most of the time I just feel inadequate because there are some really successful people in my family. I don't want to put them down because all that does is put me down also and minimize my chance of achievement. I want to become better, not bitter. It's easy to be bitter, you don't have to work on yourself you can just sit and complain instead of picking up whatever you need to in order to better yourself. Very recently, I had to deal with my own severe bout of envy. A relative of mine, who's in the same industry as me and who could have helped me in my career at one time but didn't, has won a significant international award. I celebrated her success, but I was kind of sad because I felt ignored by her in the past and felt perhaps it should have been me up there also. I don't know if she'll ever help me and I don't even know why she didn't before. She never gave me a reason. I could guess and guess, but maybe she wanted for me to learn on my own about the industry, like she did. Either way, it still doesn't take away from the fact she won. A part of me said 'Yeah, everyone thinks she's great, but she wouldn't even help her own family member.' However, maybe if she did spend time on an amateur like me, it would have cost her. I don't know and I can't say. She made her decision and she doesn't owe me anything. These are the thoughts that go through my mind, I try to piece together why I'm feeling the way I am. All I can do is work on getting better at what I do, praying, meditating and trying to be the best person I can be.

I find telling ourselves that 'They are probably unhappy' is a lie we tell ourselves to rationalize our jealousy. The truth is, when I'm jealous of someone it means deep down inside I KNOW I'm not doing enough. It also serves as a guideline to where I want to go. Most of the time I just feel inadequate because there are some really successful people in my family. I don't want to put them down because all that does is put me down also and minimize my chance of achievement. I want to become better, not bitter. It's easy to be bitter, you don't have to work on yourself you can just sit and complain instead of picking up whatever you need to in order to better yourself. Very recently, I had to deal with my own severe bout of envy. A relative of mine, who's in the same industry as me and who could have helped me in my career at one time but didn't, has won a significant international award. I celebrated her success, but I was kind of sad because I felt ignored by her in the past and felt perhaps it should have been me up there also. I don't know if she'll ever help me and I don't even know why she didn't before. She never gave me a reason. I could guess and guess, but maybe she wanted for me to learn on my own about the industry, like she did. Either way, it still doesn't take away from the fact she won. A part of me said 'Yeah, everyone thinks she's great, but she wouldn't even help her own family member.' However, maybe if she did spend time on an amateur like me, it would have cost her. I don't know and I can't say. She made her decision and she doesn't owe me anything. These are the thoughts that go through my mind, I try to piece together why I'm feeling the way I am. All I can do is work on getting better at what I do, praying, meditating and trying to be the best person I can be.