January 26, 2024
Ask Deepak

How do we handle a toxic boss?.


When your mind and heart are truly open abundance will flow to you effortlessly and easily.


“Your teachings have resonated with me in a profound way, so I’d like to begin by expressing gratitude for the message you are spreading. 

As I begin to identify the pain-body and the ego in some of the thoughts and feelings that surface, I’m having difficulty translating this new-found ability to thoughts and feelings about my boss. 

I don’t believe he has identified the role the ego and pain-body play in his interactions with the team or in the decisions he’s making for the business. 

When people disagree with his decisions and have valid, factual reasons to express concern, his predominant response is to defend his decision. 

Even in the instances where it is obvious to him that his decision must be re-evaluated, he admits it, but only after lots of back and forth, and always closing the conversation with the reasons why his decision was at least somewhat justified. 

It’s obvious to me that he is so worn out by his ego–yet unaware of the cause–that his productivity is suffering and the team is feeling it. 

I’m surprised he hasn’t already had a breakdown. 

He constantly sighs out loud and complains about undesired outcomes. 

Instead of focusing on the positive, or at the least keeping his negative reaction to himself so that the team doesn’t get discouraged, he openly expresses dissatisfaction. 

You can imagine the energy in the room when he’s not having the best days. 

I’ve encouraged him to meditate and even passed on to him your meditation CD. 

He doesn’t seem to fully believe that this will help and says he’s too busy, and that he can only do so much with so little time. 

Sometimes I wonder if my frustration towards his decisions is a mere reflection of my own struggles, and that instead of wanting him to change, I should focus on disassociating myself with my own ego. 

Or, I wonder if the discomfort I feel is intended to trigger action on my part to address the way in which he is hurting the team morale, seeing as I work closely with him (and am probably the only one who would speak up, because everyone else is too intimidated)? 

When I look at the situation at hand, I feel that I understand the root of the issue. 

I have come to understand that most often the best thing to do is be the Presence in the room, versus trying to convince the person that they’re approaching situations through the lens of the ego, and explain the ways in which this is hurting the team. 

Can you share your insight as to how one should approach such a situation? 

Say something to him? 

Focus on living in the Now myself without trying to change his approach? 

And lastly, if his energy wears me down, and I’m constantly feeling like it requires effort on my part not to absorb it, is this something I must address within, and/or is this the universe telling me that perhaps that is not a good environment for me and that I should remove myself from it altogether?”


Your recognition of the difficulties your boss is experiencing is simply you being aware and concerned. 

But your discomfort and distress over his struggles has to do with your individual viewpoint that assumes you know better what he should do and how to fix it but don’t have the power to do so. 

This doesn’t mean you should say something or try to help. It sounds like you already are, and I think continuing to offer support and guidance is the responsible and kind thing to do. 

But see if you can give support without expectation and without a judgment that if he doesn’t accept it, he is making a big mistake. 

This requires that you recognize that every person, including your boss, is always following their own appropriate plan regardless of how it looks from the outside. 

While we are following our plan and sharing what we have learned with others, we need to always respect the choices and sovereignty of another person’s path. 

We may think we know how to help them stop struggling, but the particular set of circumstances and experiences they may be going through are precisely what will help them achieve their own personal breakthrough, and depriving them of that would not be doing them a favor at all.  

So offer support and guidance, but with a light touch while always recognizing that everyone is always securely on the path they need.



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