December 16, 2020
Ask Deepak

Helping a Friend.


When your mind and heart are truly open abundance will flow to you effortlessly and easily.


A dear friend has been married for 30+ years – they married because she became pregnant while they were in college – they had only known each other for 2 months. It has been a very unhappy marriage for him, his wife threatens to kill herself if he would ever leave, and to ruin his relationship with their children (both adults), demands half of his income, she destroys his clothing and personal items if she feels he has stepped out of line or hurt her feelings and says inappropriate things about him in public. He is a highly educated businessman who is on many community boards and highly thought of, yet he lives in perpetual fear and pins and needles – he jumps when his cell phone rings because every moment is a pending disaster. He becomes paralyzed with fear and guilt when he tries to discuss things with her and express his desire for change, for his own sanity and peace of mind as well as the fact that he does not have any feelings for her other than responsibility (he was raised a Catholic and taught that responsibility comes before self). I have given him The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success and The Shadow Effect; he is exploring a more spiritual side to life but cannot get past this paralyzing fear, what do you recommend to help him release this fear and find a life of peace, confidence and fearlessness? My heart breaks for him, it has taken him 7 years to share this bit of his private life with me, he has never told anyone else and I so want to help him – I have never seen someone so afraid. I feel that you can shed some light on this and recommend a path for him.


It’s good of you to offer him compassion and spiritual alternatives to his fear and guilt, but the important thing is that whatever change he is ready to make, it has to be driven his own desire and place of readiness. From the outside it seems incomprehensible why he and his wife are playing these odd roles with each other, and we are not in a position to understand what soul purpose is being served through that relationship, but we have to respect their choices. Until he asks for help, there is little you can do from your position. When the time is right and he is ripe for transformation, then he will be receptive to yours or others help in overcoming his crippling fear and guilt. In the meantime, let him know that he has choices for happiness, and that when he is ready to see and act upon them, you will be there to support him.



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