Giving in to an Adult Son.
When your mind and heart are truly open abundance will flow to you effortlessly and easily.
Question:
I’ve noticed that when I respond to something or someone with an emotional charge, that I can’t break out of old patterns. It seems that even after much meditation, prayer, etc., that if my emotions are involved I keep doing the same old things, even though I know better. For instance I keep giving in to my grownup son, then resent him. How do I break this pattern?
Response:
When we have a strong emotional charge to a situation it indicates a self-belief operating deep within our psyche. For instance you’re giving in to your son may go back to a belief that above all else, you should be nurturing and supportive to your children by giving them what they want, even though your rational mind may say that giving in to them as adults does not help them become self-reliant. The belief that to be a good person means you have to be nurturing at all costs forms an identity of who you are. We defend that identity against a desire to change with a survival instinct because to change feels like a threat to our identity, our existence. That survival instinct will always prevail over the rational mind that says it knows better than to keep giving in.
Even though you may not feel that meditation has helped you much, you have cleared the biggest hurdle already. You are aware that your emotional reaction is not who you are. That means you are moving away from attachment and moving toward healing and integration.
Gaining self-awareness free from the false self built on limited belief systems is the only reliable way to break out of old patterns. Over time you will probably even notice that you can be in the process of giving in to your son and wondering why at the same time. This is growing detachment and it means that the bond of attachment to the behavior is getting thinner. Eventually when your self-awareness is no longer shadowed by false beliefs of who you are, then you are able to respond to your son with balanced and appropriate behavior. Be gentle and accepting of yourself. Keep up with the meditation and prayer, you are doing well.
Love,
Deepak
