Following the Call to Change in Marriage.
When your mind and heart are truly open abundance will flow to you effortlessly and easily.
Question:
Deepak, I have been on a soul-searching mission since 1987. I’ve read tons of books, many of yours. I have grown much, however I am at a stumbling block again. The kids are grown but now my husband and I are having problems. I would like to start a life anew, and yet I feel he wants to grow old and die. I can tell the stress of this is affecting me physically. Some mornings I have a stiff neck before he leaves for work, or my stomach churns, I can just feel the strain in my lower back when we are discussing something. I am naturally very happy and see the humor in life and really try and spread my love to everyone, but this doesn’t make me happy and I’m beginning to think it’s not making me very healthy. Who’s happiness do I concern myself with if he claims he’s happy with me the way things are right now without changing anything? This whole thing makes me sad because there was a time I thought we would be together forever and now I feel like I just want to run. I very much value your opinion so any advice would mean the world.
Response:
It appears that you are ready for a new stage of life, but your husband isn’t. I can’t tell what big changes you feel you need to make-whether that involves moving, or requires your husband’s active participation, but you need to determine what is essential to you in this transformation and what parts you can be flexible about and still achieve your goals. It might turn out that you will be able to accomplish your renewal even if your husband is not in step with you. I know that your vision has always been togetherness, but there may be unnecessary restrictions in this picture that are making you miserable when you don’t need to be.
It’s also possible you will find as you dig deeper that what you need to do in life at this time really does require you to go it alone and your physical symptoms and sadness are just your soul’s way of telling you that you need to make the difficult decision. But you owe it to yourself and your husband to really ascertain what this change is about and how you can follow it honestly with as much grace and kindness for all involved.
Love,
Deepak
