When your mind and heart are truly open abundance will flow to you effortlessly and easily.
Hello dear Deepak, I’m 35 years old in search of the meaning of my life. Since I was 7-8 years old I recall thinking about life and death in a different way, as I grew up the idea of death gave me peace, a few times suicide passed through my mind, but it was more like I wanted to die, not to kill myself. Don’t know how normal this feeling is. Right now I’m just taking care of my family but it is because I don’t know how to take care of myself. I think I’ve never felt loved by my family, they know that and they accept that I was kind of let by myself… My love life is not much different, I loved someone when I was very young, but he didn’t fight for me (even when he loved me). I found another person who wanted to be with me, and I stayed with him, even when I knew he was not my love. We moved to the U.S leaving my former life behind, knowing that it will take many years to be able to come back… It’s been 14 years since, I still can’t go back to my country, I still feel lost, trapped, older, with a family and no answers. The good thing is I felt loved with my kids, but I can’t stop thinking: ” this can’t be it for me, there has to be a way to fill my life with life from inside.” Can you please help me, guide me to find my answers in this world? I’m not afraid of the next, as I said I feel at peace with it, in here is I feel lost and trapped…
It is not altogether unusual as a youth to contemplate the peace of death or go through phases of depersonalization. What you are describing now as an adult seems more like deep loneliness and moderate depression. Your instinct to find something that can fill your life from the inside is good inner guidance. A daily meditation practice with yoga asanas and some gentle breathing practices will be a great benefit. These techniques will help you discover the truth that the completeness and love you feel is missing in your life is already within you waiting to be awakened and known.
But to address your sense of isolation and feeling trapped, you need to engage with people outside of your family in a meaningful way. Volunteer at the school, join a book club, go walking with a friend, or help out at the homeless shelter. Find activities where you can give of yourself, and you will begin to find meaning and value to your life. When your life flows in giving to others, life will flow back to you in love and joy.