Fear and Guilt.
When your mind and heart are truly open abundance will flow to you effortlessly and easily.
Question:
I am struggling tremendously with a horrifying fear. Here’s what happened: about a year ago I had an argument with my mother, and I just thought “I’ve had it with her, I can’t handle this or her anymore, it would be so much easier if she was dead, I was in a state of deep anguish and desperation, and in a burst of extremely hateful anger I wished and visualized that she’d have an incurable form of cancer and I even prayed that God, please just give her this cancer and let her die”. And, a couple of months later my mother was actually diagnosed with cancer and later she died. After she was diagnosed, I spent hours praying and visualizing her healthy and the cancer gone and looked for treatments for her etc., I keep thinking, that I caused all this, especially after reading about Larry Dossey and what he says about negative prayer. Is it possible that my prayer really caused this to happen? This is very difficult and deeply disturbing and I just wish I had never had that thought, it haunts and depresses me in an unimaginable terrifying and painful way. Can you please explain or shine some understanding regarding this subject, and what do you think, did I cause the cancer to manifest itself?
Response:
Please don’t worry or feel guilty anymore, you didn’t give your mother cancer with your angry thoughts and visualization. Her soul’s journey on earth was measured precisely according to the experiences and growth she needed. That is far too much significance for it to be affected by yours or anyone else’s passing emotions, no matter how intense they might feel. So know that you didn’t shorten her life at all, she would have gotten cancer regardless.
Perhaps this experience has played out this way for you to impress upon you the terrible damage these negative thoughts have on your own life. You are the one that is haunted, depressed and living in horrifying fear, not her. So forget about you causing her cancer and learn to use your attention and emotions in ways that will support your well-being and growth.
Love,
Deepak
