December 15, 2011

Father-in-Law Difficulties.


When your mind and heart are truly open abundance will flow to you effortlessly and easily.


I have been struggling for many years over the relationship between myself and my husband with his father. His father goes through periods of being completed connected with us and his grandchildren then drops us like a hat without any explanation. When I ask why, he makes an excuse that he doesn't want to bother us, and that we can always make the call too, but I think that as an adult and a parent, it is your responsibility to keep in contact with your children no matter what age, we often feel like we have done something wrong.

He also has belittled my husband saying he does not work hard and gets paid too much for what he does. With the holidays fast approaching, I am torn whether or not to invite them to Christmas dinner, I know if I don't make the call, they won't make the effort to get together for the holidays and see their grandchildren. Also, when I call to update him on his grandchildren's successes, he always has to deviate to his other grandchildren which makes my children's accomplishments seem insignificant to him. I know I cannot change him, BUT I would love some insight on how I can not take his bad energy on. Thank you.


From your letter it is clear that having the family together for the holidays is important, so call him and invite him for you sake. If he accepts fine, if he doesn’t, then at least from your side you gave him a chance by inviting him. The grandfather’s behavior of belittling his son and diminishing the accomplishments of your children is unfortunate, but it may be a bit extreme to exclude him from the family holidays on that account.
The other thing to bear in mind is that you are operating from a belief that because he is a grandparent is supposed to feel and act the way you think he should, i.e. call regularly and remain positive and emotionally connected with the family. Those kind of expectations don’t work on grandparents any better than they do with any other adult. Learn to be okay with letting grandpa be who he is. That will be a great lesson for your own children as they grow up as well.


Write Your Comment

  1. Galaxy

    Dr. Did u ever read about Islam ?? Please read about it; u will find many things

  2. Patty León

    Dear Deepak, your good energy will do everything necessary for a good relationship, the angels are with you. Blessings

  3. Crystal

    Not only do you have to let people around you be themselves, it is also important not to take is personally when they are acting like themselves. Everyone is living there own dream in life. That dream has nothing to do with you. So taking it personally is only hurting you. He obviously has his own expectations of what a son, daughter, grandchild should be and it is hurting all of you. Instead of caring what he thinks learn to love him anyway. Love will always break down walls and barriers. It may take time, but Love always works.

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