Embracing Uncertainty or Recklessness.
When your mind and heart are truly open abundance will flow to you effortlessly and easily.
Question:
I recently met a man in a bar. After a very short introduction, we became close friends. He is many years younger than I am and is not stable in his life. He does not have a job or a car or even a permanent home. I think he is a very nice person and I enjoyed spending time with him, but my instincts tell me he would be a big risk for me. I have two children, a brand new house and many things I have worked very hard to get.
According to the law of detachment, I am supposed to embrace uncertainty. This man tells me he has many plans for his future, yet I am skeptical to believe in his intentions. So all my instincts are telling me not to pursue a relationship with him. Yet, I wonder if there is a reason we were drawn together that night. Am I supposed to help him? Am I supposed to ignore the risks I could be putting myself and my children in with the hopes he could turn out to be the man I am looking for? I actually have a past record of relationships with men who needed a helping hand. Neither of those worked out well for me. If I do not look to my past experiences to make this choice, then I may be doomed to keep repeating it. How do I discern between letting go of the past influences in my life and making a wiser choice?
Answer:
Given your situation, you should follow your instincts to steer clear of this guy. Embracing uncertainty does not mean embracing recklessness. There is nothing extraordinary about two single people meeting in a bar a night. You have your children, job and home to consider here, you can’t really afford to continue your pattern of adopting partners who are lost causes. Remember that grown men who are looking for someone like you to take them in don’t really have any incentive to grow beyond that. It’s not that they lack the love and support of a good woman to realize their ambitions. Their ambition is the support of a good woman, and their big plans are part of the lure to get the good woman.
Embracing uncertainty is really a tool to help you overcome the controlling nature of the ego which tells you that you can’t make a correct decision or take action unless you know enough to be absolutely certain. Since ego control isn’t really your issue here, I think making sensible choices in relationship is what you want to strive for.
Love,
Deepak
Great, insightful advice & comments. Funny thing is I met a guy who is quite a bit younger than me as well, but not at a bar. Also the opposite, he works full-time, owns his own car & home. I do worry about the age difference. I`m 45 & he`s 27. I do have 2 kids (11 & 13 yrs old). They know him & really like him too. He`s kind, compassionate & funny. I did meet him because he was matched to be my 13 yr old son`s mentor. We`ve kept things at a friendship level & separate (not interfering) with his time & relationship with my son. He`s been in a longtem relationship w/ a mature woman w/ kids before. I`m not certain what will become of things. I feel a good connection & potential for happiness, but I don`t want to make a mistake re: getting involved.
Hello, for the description she writes, I am certain she knows it is not the right person for her, meeting at a bar has nothing to do with anything. I have not been her situation before, but when the right person comes along you don`t need to ask, and it has nothing to do with wisdom of uncertanty!!! Get serious please!
Thank you Mr. Chopra!