Defining a New Role with Mother.
When your mind and heart are truly open abundance will flow to you effortlessly and easily.
Question:
Deepak, I lost my father at the age of 18 just before starting my college studies. My mom and I remained quite shocked and in a way as two lost women who were clinging together. I feel that for several years I took over some part of my father’s role giving my mom the hope and steadiness she needed. But now I have difficulties getting back to a normal state of life where I go my way and she pursues her own life without looking at my like her "partner-in-crime". Can you suggest how to navigate the relationship into new ways without cutting all ties?
Response:
There is certainly no need to cut any ties with your mother. I assume from your letter that your mother has not looked to anyone but you as a source of strength and direction. It’s time for you and your mother to move forward with your own life directions. You are ready to do that, but your mother, you believe, is not ready. Perhaps one way to help her rediscover her own life purpose is to engage her in the ideas, passions, activities that still hold value to her. Maybe its teaching, dancing, writing, gardening, cooking, or community volunteering. As she connects with those talents and the joy that comes with them, she will feel that fire of life rekindled in her heart. As that grows stronger, her life will start to move forward on its own and she won’t need to lean on you so heavily.
Love,
Deepak
My parents divorced when I was 10 & I was bounced from home to home, with neither parent wanting to take time from their new single life for the responsibility that comes with a child. This resulted in me being alone quite often, making horrible decisions throughout my youth, and seeking acceptance in the wrong places. Now, at 37 I`ve learned what love is, (albeit I still struggle with some aspects, i.e - trust, self-worth, etc.) And while I am content I must admit I catch myself harboring resentment towards both parents. (I`ve actually not seen my father in over 10years, just send the appropriate cards for whatever holiday) My mother is quite demanding and uses her divorce as an excuse for the abuse. She is still the addict she was then, only with a touch of dementia now. So, with allllllll that being said - how do I handle this? I`ve tried telling them how its affected me, but neither comprehended, or chose to. I cry a lot, as I feel cheated out of my youth, yet must ultimately lay the blame in my own hands. Please help Deepak. Any advice is greatly appreciated. Namaste
Oh yes,it can be done.Life is a journey. I think it's a casual map from birth...on..and on.
Just realize the Karma