Assigning Blame.
When your mind and heart are truly open abundance will flow to you effortlessly and easily.
Question:
I have questions about the circumstances that effect our lives from day to day in the physical world. All the things outside of the self the good and the bad — who or what is in control of that? I’ve heard some say it’s Karma. Some say it’s fate or it’s destiny. Some say it’s you and only your dream. I am suffering a tremendous loss in my life. It’s not exactly a death, but for some it could be just as painful. Who should I be angry at? Who is responsible for the way things are or the way they turn out? Is it all my fault there is this suffering in life. It would appear something put me on journey to connect with someone very deeply, and has decided to put that to an end. These are just words our ego uses to describe it. But why is god, high power, or the divine intelligence, described as the source of light, peace, love and creation is only found within? When clearly something of a high intelligence unfolds before us in the now, and influences the outcomes of everything outside of us? If everything comes from the same source. That would mean all the darkness, hate, fear, and destruction comes from that same place to. They are all one. They cannot exist without the opposite. How do you put your faith, and live in bliss, when this divine energy shows no remorse or a care to what your, or anyone’s wants, dreams, or needs are? It all seems so indiscriminate. No rhyme or reason. From the football team that wins the big game, to the death of innocent passenger in a car accident. Its purpose is too divine for us to understand, isn’t it?
Response:
I’m sorry you’re going through a difficult loss right now. The feelings of sorrow, grief and powerlessness can affect us deeply and make us feel that we live in a random, uncaring universe.
My advice is not to try to analyze yourself out of your grief through concepts of blame, karma, love, caring, destiny and divine purpose. These are grand human notions that we can apply to life, but life itself is what it is, independent of all those labels. Healing your emotional trauma should be your focus, and for that you need a gentle, forgiving approach to yourself and others. Assigning fault and looking for someone to be angry at is a distraction from your real business of repairing the hurt to your heart, and that only prolongs your pain.
Right now the pain holding you in your limited point of view is dictating your reality. Consider the experience of looking into the sky. Standing on a hilltop, the sky is above you and all around you. It seems endlessly open. Now imagine someone who lived the bottom of a very deep well, and their entire experience of the sky was a tiny coin-size disc of light during part of the day. If the two spoke and compared their concepts and feelings about the sky, there would be much disagreement between them, for one it’s very limited, for the other it feels unlimited. But the sky just is what it is—sky. When the guy in the well begins to climb out of the well, the limitations to his vision diminish and his experience of the sky will necessarily change. He doesn’t need to be intellectually convinced, his actual experience changes his mind.
Similarly it’s not helpful to tell you that life is fair and that you control your destiny in a universe governed by a loving God, when that’s not at all how it feels right now. As you heal your heart, you will rise up from this proverbial well and life will feel very different. You will open up, expand and connect with the flow of the cosmos you will be able to draw your own conclusions.
As you move forward, I would encourage you to look for the blessings that are there in your life, and let that gratitude be your guiding light.
Love,
Deepak
Wow, that was powerful. I feel the hurt and confusion from this question, and the well analogy was eye opening.
Wow, that was powerful. I feel the hurt and confusion from this question, and the well analogy was eye opening.