Why do bad things keep happening to us?.
When your mind and heart are truly open abundance will flow to you effortlessly and easily.
Question:
“If someone attracts the same terrible situations repeatedly, what can be done to change this pattern?
I do have localized some intense feelings of lack of self-worth.
My whole existence turns around being ‘good enough’ – if I like or not what I do for a living I think I’ll never find out because I am terrified that I might not be living up to expectations.
So I feel I don’t have the ‘right’ to do anything but work- a work that can be done 365 days a year 24 hours a day from a computer at home.
It’s a high-competition job: I don’t know what will happen to my income and work permit if I am not lucky to keep my situation.
I feel the pressure is too much.
I feel I am living on the border of what I can handle.
Yet there seems to be no other option – because I am only allowed to hold a job that no one in this country is qualified for… it’s quite a limiting situation, there’s no way around, and I wonder sometimes, how come this is happening to me?
How come my life seems to always have been like this – sort of always preparing for the next ’exam’ (talk, presentation, etc..), no space for living – I feel that I am actually unable to enjoy anything at all because I am constantly afraid of not being able to keep up the race.
I just have one big dream – to one day be allowed to just be quiet, to just not have to justify my existence on earth by my work.
My biggest dream is to have a cottage in nature far away from people that have any sort of expectations of me.
But I don’t even pursue my dream because I would feel too guilty not working at least 8 hours a day.
I systematically ruin myself – what can be done?”
Response:
The answer to why your life is a repeating pattern of not measuring up to some imaginary standard lies in that very metaphor.
You are interpreting the events of your life through the concept that your self-worth is constantly being tested externally.
And because you don’t feel worthy, every competitive outcome is a confirmation of your fears.
Looked at from another viewpoint, the fact that you have a job that no one else in the country is qualified for, means you must be highly qualified and valuable.
Instead of looking at things through the lens of a “race,” “exam” or competition, cultivate an attitude of just being yourself and having fun instead.
The part of you that feels overwhelmed by your work schedule is the part of you that feels like you must be in control of everything to be secure.
Recognize that you can never control everything and that there is greater security in learning to accept and enjoy the unknown.
When you learn to let go of the controlling, competitive mindset, you are free to start enjoying your life and appreciating the moment for all its surprises.
Instead of seeing yourself as fighting against the surf of the ocean one wave at a time, and losing, see yourself as learning to play with the waves by surfing them and having fun with one wave after another.
Love,
Deepak
