January 21, 2015

What Fighting With My Boss Taught Me: Self-Awareness.


When your mind and heart are truly open abundance will flow to you effortlessly and easily.

As a boy in India I wanted to play cricket, and as a young man, I had a charismatic uncle who was a journalist, so that became my ambition.

It was only at the last minute that I surprised my father, a cardiologist in New Delhi, by deciding on medical school. Since I've been an endocrinologist for almost 40 years, it wouldn't appear that I have a road not taken.

But during my post-graduate studies at Tufts, my focus was on laboratory research. I had no doubt that this was my bent, not seeing patients. This plan crashed when I flared up against my adviser because he tried to humiliate me in front of the other fellows. I dumped a manila file of papers on his head and stalked out of the room. This act of defiance almost got me thrown out of endocrinology and sent me into moonlighting at a suburban Boston emergency room until things righted themselves.

So you might say that my road not traveled was the road that leads to lack of self-awareness. My impulsive action turned out all right in the end, if I take a long look back. I rescued my medical career, I became more interested in patients, and a decade later I began to see that self-awareness was an important component in my life–and everyone else's who wants to recover from a state where anger, fear, doubt, outworn conditioning, and scars from the past occupy the mind at will.

Self-awareness was my blind spot when I was young, obscured by the countless distractions of the ego, which in this case meant a total focus on externals (the hectic life of a young doctor) at the expense of looking inward. But having said this, I no longer believe that the world "out there" is separate from the world "in here." both are domains of consciousness.

Since consciousness is the common denominator of all experiences, you might even say that there is never a road not taken. We all make decisions that take us on one trajectory instead of another. There are professions, relationships, and events we could have been part of but aren't. Yet consciousness overrides these choices. As I see it, the claims of self-awareness are inescapable. It's only a matter of time before we recognize a road we've been traveling since birth without having enough awareness to see it.

This article was published by Linkedin

Photo credit: Freedigitalphotos.net

Write Your Comment

  1. Mike Reynolds

    the ego rules too many even useing the I am is econic

  2. Judith

    I smiled when reading your post. It is rather clever how the universal river of life -when it is young veers off the original course, then the river merges further down stream. There are certain words...first time experiences that "stuck" in my mind...Like flashes of lightning- they appear every now and again. Like little signpost along the road, reminding me...I AM on the right track..perfect journey. I would love to merge my passion for teaching...I would love to spark a million little hearts...for the love of art. By-the way- Thank you so much for your 21 day meditations--they are marvelus! Have a blessed day!

  3. Jp Parsons

    Smiling- read it and left a comment. Have a blessed day-Judithj

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