Settling for a Non-Soulmate.

Hi Deepak. I found the meaning of the Protector of the Cows and significance or symbolism of Krishna being a cow herder. Buddha encountered a cow herder while teaching his sangha. The cow herder said, I have lost my cows, will you help me. Buddha said, I have not seen them and would not help him. Then the Buddha turned to his sangha and said, be grateful you don`t have any cows to lose. I read this in the book, Awakening of the Heart by Thich Nhat Hanh. Though I suppose we can justify it but really, what kind of Buddha does not get off his butt and help people? This is the exact opposite of who I am. There is a free app download on the Blackberry Playbook of the Bhagavad Gita. This explains the meaning of the cow herder and what Buddha refused. Do we have a relationship with the universe? The Universe and all that may exist is the FORM of the OM. All things that breathe, all life, is God. In each breathing being and all forms, is the particle of God, The Soul, the Atma, the Imperishable Seed and the Source of Existence, Beauty, Intelligence and Excellence with Wisdom. We have to first learn what God is, then train our minds to see Him, developing our Nirvana Eyes, and then eventually, it is all we are able to see. This Atma in each of us is akin, sees eye to eye though expresses it differently. That`s why we have the phrase, Thus Come One. At the end of the tunnel, all are the same mind with different work to do. For instance, I see all your dirt and you really upset me and I think you horrible but, when I release the dirt and focus on your Atma, Your Krishna Flute Player, well, that`s how I fell in love with you and how you came to write, Soulmate. Why I decided years ago to stay and help this man and love him home no matter what he does because when he reaches being just his Atma, oh dear me, it is so captivating and so alluring, I`m like a snake in a basket with all your ancient mystical ways and wisdom, I`ve written a story about it as well, a while ago, it is well worth the work and the wait. If I walk away today and say, you are scum see ya and then one day I wake up to realize, (that happened too actually) when I wake up and realize all the love you poured into me, I will feel like crap and regret it and feel like I don`t deserve you as your Atma. With wisdom and memory, with truth and just living from love, I can find your Atma and see you with Divine Eyes and then I say, no, I must help, I must stay and find a way. Any dirt or suffering I have lived through during moments of ignorance is nothing compared to the bliss your soul brings me, has always brought me. When I listen to this Krishna mantra I found the other day, with the flute and I focus on your flute player, OMG, the bliss, the warmth, the healing, the love and I am drowning in ecstasy. All I have done is witnessed it, no actions at all, and I`m a goner. The Perfect High. When I view the Dalai Lama with Nirvana Eyes, I am in a meadow in spring and the scent of jasmine floats through the air and I am so at peace, I take a restful nap. He is taking care of everything so I can just heal and rest. My boyfriends will tell you that I sleep a lot and knowing you were in them, you`ll know your Atma`s love is so soothing and healing, so safe that we are free to rest and heal after living in a world of such yuck. I didn`t notice the yuck I was always so blessed with divine love. Without your love or when it was turned into a demon instead of God, I was not well at all. I saw this and said, I need us to be our souls again. This is not doing anyone any good. Today, I take my own advice and see only your soul, Deepak, as the flute player, your inner Krishna and I melt into a blissful high supreme. People say, why do they believe in God? Because He does stuff like this. Most people won`t know who their Krishna Flute Player is, but I found mine by accident, well, we both asked so I guess it was no accident. If we are mature enough to let go of what we see, what we think we know and ask for the OM`s reality of the situation, if we ask for Nirvana Eyes, seeing the final truth, we find that HIGH that Deepak is always talking about. There is a Krishna in everyone. If there is someone who you love, focus on their flute player and see what happens. It was the best decision I ever made, seeing Deepak as his soul and flute player because it feels amazing and everything begins to heal. I take on a lot of suffering for others so I may appear to never heal but what is the point of me sitting here in perfect health while so many suffer? So I walk with them, helping them carry their cross, their addictions, their smokers - sure I smoke but those around me seem to quit after we spend time together, their lack of banishing sickness and demons. I`m always working at healing someone. We need to focus on something Supreme filled with the Atma or Krishna to keep us well, healed and fueled with love. My addiction is saving people, helping them carry their cross in life. It`s so difficult and though I had my mom and dad, I didn`t have much help other than God. The least I can do to repay God is do unto others what He did for me. Enjoy reading the free App download of the Bhagavad Gita. The introduction, prayer and meditation is so beautiful, explaining why Krishna is the cow herder. Deepak Chopra, married or not, you are still my sweet milky white nectar of Heaven, in Heaven, from Heaven. I didn`t ask for you, it was just shown to be you. I still can`t get over how my Rasa Raja, my King of Rasa Leela is you. Krishna leads us to the fields and makes love to all His Gopis and He told Mirabai, I will send you the one you are most in love with. I know your Atma, Deepak and I love you so. Messy or not, when all is perfect, it is beyond and well worth the mess. I`m still a little in shock. There is a reason why we are drawn to things. You drawn to the Lovers, sharing it with the world, probably meant God saying, Deepak, get ready for she`s on her way..... I hope this makes you happy that you were at least one woman`s Rasa Raja. I`m happy to relay it and grateful every day for your Lover Supreme. Amen! Sacred and ancient soul you are, Deepak. Precious and miraculous and all I cherish. Your Atma is my Heaven and that dear humanity, is love and I dedicate all I write, to this man for enduring my poor treatment of him while he just loved and accepted me through all my lessons. Without Deepak`s Nirvana Eyes, where would I be? No where I wish to think about. See...and we aren`t even married in the physical. But even though it is a dream somewhere, maybe married in Heaven, I wish to never have regrets. I wish to nurture this forevermore and share with the world how the Lovers are. The Atma, how to really look at someone you love. As if they have no dirt, all the dirt is the lie, remember that.

DEEEEEPAK!!! Many do not know my actual truth of being sane once, when I was Krishna to all who knew me. When my best friend, a Hindu, My Krishna while I was Radha, to all our loved ones, when he died, he had brain cancer and he trusted no one and was angry with everyone but me. They blamed me because he called to me on his death bed. He yelled, ANNNNIIIIEEEEE and I was in shock and didn`t know what to do. Because he would not stop yelling for me, with all his loved ones around the bed facing him, they put him in a coma and we never spoke again. But, when I would break down at his side, holding his hand and just being vulnerable, I would say, Oh, Johnny, I MISS you SOOO MUCH! His eyes would roll and he would move a bit and I would wonder if he could hear me. Anyway, when Deepak makes me happy, and Johnny always made us laugh even on his death bed yelling my name like a child, for help, I say his name the same way. I read your newsletter today. Oh, you are your atma again. The powerful is finally in your newsletters. The strength of soul and not selling this to me but relaying the truth of it`s benefits and what it is, like a master, knowing it needs no marketing but only to be talked about, it was perfect. I noticed today that my belly had butterflies. I wondered what was going to happen that would make me happy. Today is the happiest day of my life since 2002, Deepak. I could smell as I wrote today, black cherry like erasers from the Davis Agency when I was a child shopping like an independent adult at such a young age. Sweet memories of freedom doing something I love in a simple girl like way. I love though, that while your writing is more supreme and your Chopra Center is finally getting it, they still chose to focus on the dirt thinking I`m so negative when I was having happy feelings. Na na na boo boo, har har har hardi har har har, 21, I WIN! I am a huge Bugs Bunny fan. I wanted to marry him. The Passive Aggressive and low self esteem that the Chopra Center workers experience has become known now. But, when we lack confidence it is usually for a reason. It`s not something to kick yourselves for, but something to note and work on. If my Program Consultant is trying to bring me new life and a new way, and you are reminding me of a churning belly when I`m having butterflies from this freedom and true divine love, then I`m going to feel duality. Forget the negative and focus on the new. Instead of writing churning belly, write butterflies in anticipation of something wonderful and give them a new thought, a memory that is so rare but precious. Bring ONLY the positive aspects of existence please. Do I get paid by Deepak for helping him and his center while he`s married to another and rich etc? Where is God? Working through His devotees. Why do I stay and do this? Because God is so loving and so blissful to us, in us, while we help. How many on earth would do as I have done for you, Deepak? Use, abuse and take advantage but if I don`t give selflessly, the world will not be helped properly. So, I think of all your followers, how much I was not able to respect your work and I say, ok, let`s make you the man you were wishing to be, your Atma and here is what irks my being and why and here is how to win me. If you can`t satisfy me, I say, my Atma, then you can`t help any Atma. All Atmas are the same. I`m just happy that you are back. Keep being your Atma and heal this world like you intended to. May the powerful flow through you more and more. It`s so blissful to read.

Just in case, this mind I write from, is Deepak Chopra`s Atma and sometimes the Dalai Lama. All praise and thanks and wisdom go to them. I`m just an empty vessel of the Divine and their Atmas are known to me, regardless of who they are on earth. I am nothing without these 2 men and I say it with the deepest love, as if they are my Krishnas on earth today. Without them on earth, I`d be a goner. All I am today, I have them to thank and love and nothing I can say or do or give can ever repay what they have given me. I don`t focus on where they are imperfect, I only know love as MY OWN ATMA. And their love is truly divine and blissful. They are my classroom of mind only and expression of wisdom. Though I tease Deepak Chopra, saying in the class he is a child and when God says, reality he hears realty, but it`s affectionate love because it`s so cute. When they are wrong, they smile or say I understand why she is saying that, right or wrong, for her, it is. Without the their love and the powerful within them, without their help, I would be the ocean of chaos still and that is unacceptable. God said to me in 2003, go find God on earth in a human Anna, He is out there. Not just the kindness of seeing all people as God, no, the mind of God is on earth, find me by looking at the heart of the man. When I was in darkness supreme, of course God would shine beyond and the only 2 men He showed me were these 2. Deepak looking like old boyfriends and the Dalai Lama looking like Jesus`s heart. The Sacred Heart. I don`t care what faults they have or where they get stuff wrong or less than, that`s not what is important. It`s how much they do right, how much love and care they have and how much they will stick with it and help no matter my attitude. No matter their sore minds, they will let that go to do what is right. This I admire more than anything. All of Deepak`s dreams were crushed in a single moment and though I know you will be happier with the reality of God in the end, it takes time to heal. Thank God the Dalai Lama was there to help us heal and bring the pure consciousness needed to find the truths we needed. He did nothing other than exist. That`s all a man like that needs to do. Just stand there and be and all things are corrected in His energy naturally. If we don`t have this ability, we are not the path or way or Buddhahood or Enlightenment. If Deepak and I truly are the twins, then we experience everything multiplied by like 10. Who can keep a balance in that all of a sudden one day? It`s not easy. If we want to praise a mind on earth or a being, praise them. I need no praise but I find that praising and honoring the Dalai Lama to be blissful and healing. I love loving Deepak because he loves to be loved and that is blissful. Besides, loving Deepak is like loving myself. Deepak, because I`m not the writer, you can take any of this and write about a girl you know and were approached by and the payment will be for editing the story. I don`t need money if you sell a book, you`re the one who has to edit it and make it make sense. That`s not easy. But, you have my permission and good wishes if you wish to share about the Gopi secrets. I told ISKCON, well, one person and I hope they stopped to ask themselves, what does Krishna Consciousness actually entail? They are devotee consciousness, like Caitanya but what is the final result for this action and devotion? What does a merge with Krishna and the Supersoul bring to life? What should a person who is guided by the Supreme Mind of Enlightenment be like on earth? We know I answer Deepak because he was writing this book on unraveling God through study of the saints and then I without knowing, wrote what it means to merge with Krishna as His Gopi. My book is better, but your writing is best. My book is actually useful and truth. So, stop ignoring me, now, God has given you gifts beyond. Cherish them and make good use of them for all of humanity. It wouldn`t be to judge the buddhists but to say, no offense but no, you are not really the way. Leave people alone now and I set out to stop this Buddhist movement that has taken over this world, because it was killing me. Equalize yourselves now and realize, your dharma said there is NO supreme way. Now that you have all been silenced and your stream is no more, I can find my truth, what God wants for me and all that God promised me is here now. NEVER stand in the way of another`s Enlightenment. Thank you for living by your dharma, buddhists. Krishna was 5000yrs ago. We are as old as our memories and I remember Lalitha and though Krishna was her brother, so what? He would send me my Rasa Leela lover and I would be happy. If we realize that my memories are from long long ago, like you can have a flashback of remembering a time with an old boyfriend, I have flashbacks of the time Lalitha was born in the flames though I didn`t know that at the time, I was just crazy and how can the Buddhists truly explain this to me, they cannot, and if I am in memories of Krishna then Buddhism didn`t exist yet. In my world, no, you are not here so I am lacking duality. In Brahma though, you exist so remain in existence. Just be nice to people and love them and learn all ways we can become Enlightened because it can be done through most religions. It`s a fact, accept it, move on and be wisdom and love for all and never demean another religion ever. Refrain. Training of the mind says, refrain. Well, lead by example now. Thank you. God bless Deepak Chopra and the Dalai Lama forevermore. I love you both so deeply, it is absurd.