February 21, 2020
Ask Deepak

Self-destructive Behavior.


When your mind and heart are truly open abundance will flow to you effortlessly and easily.


I know everything is always as it should be and perfect in every moment when we are aware etc. I help many people to discover their hearts desire and ‘dharma’ so to speak but yet for myself i am on a secret self-destructive path that i just can’t seem to stop and its silly because i know my soul chose to come here but it surely wasn’t to help others while slowly killing myself in secret with eating problems etc! I have had bulimic behaviour for past 10 yrs. and it’s like a shield for me when it all gets too much i just don’t know how to stop. I know my heart won’t last much longer physically if i keep it up but the weird part is a part of me doesn’t care it’s like i want to go back to wherever i came from. I used to sing, dance, act, travel, and had all this dreams to make inspirational movies, books, music and run retreats and have a huge vegetarian restaurant world music cafe filled with arts, creativity etc! but now i feel nothing. i don’t see anything for me to visualise or do. I don’t feel an inner nudge or pull in any direction and its weird for me as i have always listened closely to my intuition but now i feel nothing. I just don’t want to be here. its like I’ve given up. I just don’t know what to do as there is so many things i could do but don’t know where to start and don’t know how to make myself do it. Also do you think it’s necessary to leave the environment/town that brings up a lot of past hurt and memories so that maybe will help? To start again and be free? Even though i know and understand the saying ‘wherever you go there you are!’ I just mean is it easier if you are physically not in the environment that triggers past memories etc?


I don’t think you need to leave town to get through this period. The thing to do is get help on healing the root of your self-destructive habits. Don’t worry about what you are supposed to do or feel or what direction your life should move toward. Just work on healing the pain that is driving your bulimia. All your concern for finding motivation in life, or moving elsewhere are simply ways of distracting yourself from  the obvious task of healing your old traumas. Make this your sole focus for now, and once you are through this, your next step will be apparent to you.



Write Your Comment

  1. Linda Torres

    Oh my gosh. Both of these letters describe my situation also. Just cant get moving and sit around worrying about getting old. Please tell us where to start.

  2. Linda Torres

    Oh my gosh. Both of these letters describe my situation also. Just cant get moving and sit around worrying about getting old. Please tell us where to start.

  3. Kimberly Ruffalo

    Deepak, In response to The Self Destructive Behaviour letter, your response was to get to the root of the problem. How does one find help / help for this? I can almost entirely relate to this person's dilemma, re: lack of motivation, clarity, purpose and direction, focus (minus the bulimia and the over achievements / giftedness of the person). I just feel numb and passionless for things that I once was zealous about. I too, thought that perhaps I feel "stuck" because of the environment / location / situation I have been in and the fact that I don't have a "tribe" or feel like I can relate to others in this location. I agree with the saying "wherever you go, there you are" and I have tried to be dedicated again with my meditation, yoga, and everything that I believe in that used to feel right. I used to be thrilled when the 21 day Meditation Experiences were available for free and I cannot even commit to those any longer. My sentiments to the person who sent you the letter, I know what they are going through. Thank you Deepak for your compassion and sharing your wisdom! Namaste~ Kimberly

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