Overcoming Ghosts of the Past.
When your mind and heart are truly open abundance will flow to you effortlessly and easily.
Question:
Deepak, over the past three years I have worked hard to be the right person in order to enjoy a relationship when I have it (I have not been in one relationship in more than 5 years). By working hard I mean that I have read many books (including yours), practiced many mental / well-being exercises, meditated, exercised… and worked by all means the shadows of my past (lack of acceptance and feeling of abandonment by my father). I have made huge improvements in my well-being, body and mind. However, recently I have got close to someone who is definitely special to me. The problem, all those insecurities from the past seem to have come back to haunt me. I feel abandoned, unloved, jealous, etc. I am trying to flow… and I am getting back to my old exercises, meditation, yoga and so forth… but I don´t know what else to do to feel at ease and be with someone… what do you recommend?
Response:
At this point you are ready to work on these issues with a partner. So have an open, intimate conversation with this new guy you like. Tell him what you have revealed in your letter to me, including your insecurities and how important it is for you to overcome them in order to have a successful relationship. Ask for his understanding and support in this healing effort. There is a good chance that he has his own past issues to deal with. If he is open to it, offer your support and compassion in return. You don’t have to get into all the specifics of what triggers your jealousy and feelings of abandonment right away, but just establishing a general agreement to work together emotionally to build a deeper relationship is the important thing at the onset. Later on you can explore how best you can support each other when the old painful memories get triggered and you need help in healing them.
Love,
Deepak
