January 4, 2012

Mother Karma.


When your mind and heart are truly open abundance will flow to you effortlessly and easily.

I struggle with a karmic question– It will be one year next month in which I cut my mother out of my life. In short- she is mentally ill (functional-when she wants to be) and homeless. I lived in San Diego for 12 years. However, I moved back to my hometown in 2009' in order to, "help" my mother's situation.

Needless to say- I cant help her. In short- she brought a lot of chaos to my life the past two years (2009-2010) and throughout my entire life. Through counseling I finally admitted verbally (that) from birth- she was abusive (physically, verbally) to me, manipulative (turned family members including my own father against me) and she was NOT a mother to me. In my mind 1. I am a loyal friend/person. I have a lot of integrity and I am a good person. So, I could not fathom turning my back on my own mother. 2. I realized, though that I can not help her AND my peace of mind is more important, thus I can not enable the chaos/turmoil and drama she brings to my life. 3. I feel guilty every day as if, "higher power", "karma,' "laws of attraction" are going to hold it against me for in essence turning my back on her. I feel sorry that her life is what it is. I hurt for her and all the mentally ill and homeless people. I do a lot for people (between God and I) yet, I can not have her in my life because she brought so much chaos and turmoil to my life for 36 years. But, I struggle with guilt and wonder what will be my, "karmic" burden as a result. I feel very sad.

It’s not the laws of karma that are going to punish you for your relationship with your mother, it is you. So if you want relief from your guilt, find some other way to help her so that you know you are actually doing what you can given your own emotional state and financial resources. If she is mentally ill and doesn’t want to live in a home (as some homeless do) then you need to come to terms with the limitations of what you or anyone can do. Talk with a social worker to help get a clearer perspective on your options. Also, bear in mind that even though you have come to understand that your mother was abusive, manipulative and ‘not a mother to me,’ it is not realistic to hope that a mentally ill person is going to offer you an apology or sense of remorse that you may feel you need for healing and closure. The situation is what it is, and you are going to have to heal this pain on your own. Keeping that issue of childhood trauma separate from compassionately helping your ill mother is important, otherwise part of you will always be trying to get her to know how much she hurt you. Her inability to do that will make you want to turn your back on her, and that just adds fresh guilt to your old pain and gives you more to heal.

Write Your Comment

  1. found this worth looking at: the message of the cross offends because it reveals the unvarnished truth about our spiritual condition. The "real Jesus" offends us and deflates our pride. God`s way of salvation is an affront, a scandal, an insult, and ultimately a verdict about the insufficiency of human effort to attain righteousness before a Holy God. Human "works" or merits are useless before God. The truth about the human condition is offensive. It is not flattering to say we are twisted and broken and helpless. No, the world wants the image of beauty, strength, capability, power, etc. The world wants us to worship idealized man (or woman), whereas God wants us confess our inner bankruptcy and need for Him. The message of the cross -- the gospel -- is offensive to fallen human nature that seeks to justify its life here on earth. The gospel message implies that our sinful condition is so profound that it literally took the death of Yeshua to satisfy God`s wrath for us. The cross implies that we are both helpless to save ourselves and hopelessly lost in sin. La`Adonai Yeshuah ( לַיהוָה הַיְשׁוּעָה ): "Salvation is of the LORD." We can do nothing to save ourselves. This is an affront to human pride that wants to add something of its own doing to "perfect" God`s work of deliverance.

  2. YogiD

    I agree, if u allow ur 36yrs of chaos and abuse to remain locked away yku to will suffer at the faith of ur mother inability to parent for several reasons {i.e. mental illness} But I use to for control issues of havong no control as a child & I would hold onto things alot longer than others but as I began to realize it became any every day struggle to relive the hurt I experienced. Letting go, without holding not ill feelings is a powerful point to reach in anyones life. It provides you the ability to acknowledge the misfortune but in return it gives you the strength to move through it without your emotions holding you hostage. I hope you come to terms with releasing what we have no control over anyway, "Wrong parent syndrome" I call it and make inner peace within yourself and return your overall mental state to a moment of peace and serenity...... Good Luck

  3. Rachael Claire Heart

    you can still love her as she is and be grateful for her from a distance...

More Comments
How AI Can Elevate Spiritual Intelligence and Personal Well-Being
September 17, 2024
Scroll Up