Late Teen Rebellion.
When your mind and heart are truly open abundance will flow to you effortlessly and easily.
Question:
I have been a stay at home mother for the last 23 years. I love my kids with a passion and want everything for them: health, happiness, love, success. Out of the 3, I have one child who is very rebellious and has acted out in ways the other 2 have not. He is an older teenager- he experiments with drugs, is arrogant , self centered and immature. When he is around us, he causes strife because he breaks rules of the household. My husband is apathetic and is tired of raising a rebellious kid. I feel guilty, but I am very anxious when he is home from college. He tells me I am a mean spirited person who doesn’t take him as he is. I am emotionally and physically exhausted and feel terrible about our relationship. Everyone tells me to “let go” but to me letting go means I don’t care anymore. Please advise.
Response:
Given that he is now a college student and only returns home for visits, he is past the age of being raising in your house. That is the thing you have to let go of—the expectation that you are going to be able to have a significant influence on his behavior at his age. He is a young adult now, and his life lessons will now come to him directly, not through his parents. Coming to terms with this does not mean you do not care anymore. You will always love and care for him as your child, but now you must do it with the full recognition of your more limited role in how he lives his life.
As regards to him telling you that you are mean-spirited person, you still get to set ground rules for discussions in your house while he is there, and you can tell him that everything he is thinking and feeling can be expressed in a non-hurtful way by using the principles of nonviolent communication. I recommend the book of the same title by Marshal Rosenberg. In the meantime, try not to take his comments personally. Remember that he is still young, not very wise or experienced about life and his is likely making extreme and exaggerated statements as a way of expressing his confused feelings and as a way to elicit a response he can emotionally react to.
Love,
Deepak
Matter cant change the matter, ego cant change ego..... Maybe inspire your son to go to some workshop of transformation....He will be nervous at beginning, because he is addicted to high pleasure, ....so other stuff seem to be boring for him...But then he may find the workshop of transformation (mental, physical) very life changing and interesting. As Joe Dispenza says all it takes is to open the heart, it changes your life... I think its also what Deepak teaches us and Eckhart Tolle too.
Matter cant change the matter, ego cant change ego..... Maybe inspire your son to go to some workshop of transformation....He will be nervous at beginning, because he is addicted to high pleasure, ....so other stuff seem to be boring for him...But then he may find the workshop of transformation (mental, physical) very life changing and interesting. As Joe Dispenza says all it takes is to open the heart, it changes your life... I think its also what Deepak teaches us and Eckhart Tolle too.
I am going trough same issue but my son is 15 years old. I am not giving up on him yet.