May 25, 2020

Jealous of Co-Worker.

Quote.

When your mind and heart are truly open abundance will flow to you effortlessly and easily.

Question:

I work in a small room with my supervisor and another co-worker, and I struggle to maintain harmonious relationships with them.  This co-worker is particularly annoying and frustrating to me in that she always likes to be involved in everyone’s business and at the center of attention.  Although I have been working here for 2 years now, and she, much longer, the position I was hired in as, is higher than hers, and there has always been a sense of competition between us.  I have been treated well by my supervisor, and am working on gaining her trust and confidence in me in order that I might be given opportunities/projects for growth in my skills.  This co-worker of mine does good work, yet, I am irritated and jealous when she receives special treatment as well. 

How do I change my attitude about this situation if I would like to get along with my co-worker and  continue climbing up the ladder?

 

Response:

It’s not clear from your letter whether the three of you in the small room constitute the entire company and therefore the limits of your promotion possibilities, or whether your shared office is a small part of a larger company that you have ambitions of scaling up. If the entire enterprise is you three, and you are already in a higher position than your co-worker even though she has seniority, then you have already succeeded in earning your supervisor’s trust and confidence. And even if you want to grow beyond this little room, it’s hard to see how your co-worker is a threat to that. So if you stop seeing her as a threat, you can stop feeling jealous. Even if  she is an  annoying gossip, you can get along with her if you see her behavior simply as something you don’t want to participate in, but not something you identify with  who she is. If you can see her with compassion , then it will be easier to get along.

Love,
Deepak

 

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May 7, 2012

Jealous of Co-Worker.

Quote.

When your mind and heart are truly open abundance will flow to you effortlessly and easily.

Question:

I work in a small room with my supervisor and another co-worker, and I struggle to maintain harmonious relationships with them. This co-worker is particularly annoying and frustrating to me in that she always likes to be involved in everyone’s business and at the center of attention. Although I have been working here for 2 years now, and she, much longer, the position I was hired in as, is higher than hers, and there has always been a sense of competition between us. I have been treated well by my supervisor, and am working on gaining her trust and confidence in me in order that I might be given opportunities/projects for growth in my skills. This co-worker of mine does good work, yet, I am irritated and jealous when she receives special treatment as well. How do I change my attitude about this situation if I would like to get along with my co-worker and continue climbing up the ladder?

Answer:

It’s not clear from your letter whether the three of you in the small room constitute the entire company and therefore the limits of your promotion possibilities, or whether your shared office is a small part of a larger company that you have ambitions of scaling. If the entire enterprise is you three, and you are already in a higher position than your co-worker even though she has seniority, then you have already succeeded in earning your supervisor’s trust and confidence. And even if you want to grow beyond this little room, it’s hard to see how your co-worker is a threat to that. So if you stop seeing her as a threat, you can stop feeling jealous. Even if she is an annoying gossip, you can get along with her if you see her behavior simply as something you don’t want to participate in, but not something you identify with who she is. If you can see her with compassion , then it will be easier to get along.

Love,
Deepak

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  1. Ms. Public Speaker

    Dear Deepak, I`ll be eternally grateful if you can advice me on this. 1. I fell in love with public speaking when I was nine. Since then, I`ve participated in numerous competitions and received many opportunities to speak. In this way, I blossomed into a confident speaker. 2. However, this is very sad but true: in North America, most academics simply sit and read (at conferences). Very few stand and speak, and even if they do, they speak in a dull monotone. 3. In light of this, I unwittingly stand out because of my passionate style. While I receive praise for my "eloquence," and "passion," I also evoke immense jealousy from my colleagues/former class-mates. Most male scholars stop speaking to me after listening to me. Women glower and/or glare at me. I have been getting excluded from conferences and workshops. I`m worried that those sitting on hiring committees will find me as a threat and reject me. 4. I sought Prof. Leherman`s (Al Gore`s speech writer) advice. He advised me not to give up my love for public speaking; But he didn`t have any specific suggestions as to how I can lessen people`s jealousy. 5. Can you please advise me. I love public speaking FOR ITS OWN SAKE; I am not competing with anybody; I have never let people`s praise get to my head. I remain my humble and cheerful self. Yet, I am being punished by those who are "uninspired" (Wayne Dyer`s term). 6. Would you have any specific suggestions as to how I can pursue my passion for public speaking but without evoking jealousy? MANY MANY THANKS.

  2. Synchronicity

    Hi Deepak. First off, thank you. I listened recently to your interview on coast to coast radio where you talked about the power of coincidence. I love listening to your talks as well as reading your books. You mentioned in your interview that if anyone had a story to share about synchronicity they could post it at your blog. I am having difficulty finding the blog to do so, could you assist me? I would also like to ask about Alzheimer`s, as my mother was diagnosed with it. I have recently taught her meditation and I have her listen to your cd, The Secret of Healing. I do other activities with her as well. Could you give me any suggestions on how I could further help her. Much appreciated Deepak. Blessings and love :)

  3. Dr Lewis James Jordan

    Remember, unless your work for yourself, you are at your job for one sole purpose. TO MAKE MONEY. Keep that in your mind while you work and if you struggle with relationships at work take a look at the Ego. Why is your ego acting up? The ego wants to protect us form imagined threats. You are at your job to make money. Would you go every morning to work if they did not pay you. Focus on that affirmation. "I am here to make money" That`s all you were hired for anyways, isn`t it? If your company didn`t think you would make them money, you would be replaced.

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