August 17, 2012

Guilt Over Moving.

Quote.

When your mind and heart are truly open abundance will flow to you effortlessly and easily.

Question:

 I'm moving to another country to marry the man I love and start a family. I've been feeling really sad to leave my mother behind. She lives alone and is getting old. How do I deal with the feeling of guilt?

Answer:

Handle the guilt by doing all you can beforehand to ensure her physical needs will be taken care of and call her frequently on the phone once you go. Make a commitment to visit whenever you can. Beyond that you need to realize that moving away from parents, getting married and having your own family is the way of the world. That is what children do when they grow up. Maybe your mother moved away from her parents too when she got married. Ultimately she wants the best for you and knows you can’t be expected to give up your happiness and life to be near her.

Love,
Deepak

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  1. becolorful

    I found this site today because I am going to meet my mom for dinner and tell her that my husband and I have purchased a home in Florida. I am dreading it like you can`t believe. I know she will be devastated. We live in the Midwest now, a few blocks from my mom. Because I am dreading breaking this to her I googled guilt and moving away as a adult child. ( What we google says a lot about who we are). I have approached the subject of relocating with my mom who basically told me she would wish she could die in a few weeks if we went through with that plan. So I understand the guilt your mom is laying on you. We are not leaving our home entirely. My husband and I are in our 50`s and our kids are launched and we are ready for a new chapter in our lives. We are both self employed and could work from Florida for several weeks at a time but would need to return to our Midwest home probably at least once a month. I keep telling myself I am not leaving her entirely but I realize that in a few years we will probably want to spend at least half of our time down south. There are significant tax advantages for us to be in Florida and we are tired of the winters here. One of our kids still lives in our hometown but I doubt he will stay here. The others live a couple of hours away and on the other side of the world so they will not be around to help fill in the void. I have suggested to my mom, who does not have that many friends anymore, that maybe she would like living in Florida but she digs in her heels and says, "No way". She is eighty, has some vision issues but is still driving. I do know that she would probably not be driving in a larger city like we will be moving to so I would have to step it up in that respect if she did make the move. That said, I really don`t expect her to change her life for me either but I wish I could make her understand that I am 57 years old. I lost my dad when he was 74 and I sometime panic and get that feeling that time is passing quickly. My husband has earned this time and wants to share it with me and I am so excited for this next adventure except for the huge weight of guilt that is dragging me down.

  2. Confused and guilty

    I want to move across country..but my mom is dealing with pancreatic cancer and I feel I should stay to see her through this. She has had it for two years and is hanging in there.. She is not alone if I leave. My two sisters, her husband, her sisters, and grandchildren are here with her. But I have a lot of sadness and guilt over leaving. I have been wanting to make this move for many, many years. And now is the time has come to make it happen...lost and confused

  3. androgynous/LoveInAllOfHumanity

    She has Not left, just changed forms as her body was just a tomb her soul as yours is whats alive, find the life and light in your self/priceless

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