Emotional Freedom From Family.
When your mind and heart are truly open abundance will flow to you effortlessly and easily.
Question:
Though I am highly spiritual, I am finding great difficulty freeing myself emotionally from my mother with whom I have a very toxic relationship. I understand this concept intellectually but struggling with it on an emotional level. It is partly cultural, partly guilt in thinking (as was heavily instilled in me) that I am responsible for my mother's wellbeing, at the cost of my own.
It is only when I was able to distance myself from my family members/unit that I was able to regain myself and 'rebuild' a healthy and happy self, and live from my values and spirituality.
And yet I am now at a cross road where I must make a clear decision or I will always be attached negatively to a false notion that is blocking me and pulling me down. I know there is no possible healthy rapport with my mother going forward, and yet the thought of cutting her out of my life seems difficult. It sounds like a contradiction; if this were an acquaintance, I would separate immediately.
How do people who aren't close to their families begin to create healthy boundaries in order to free themselves from guilt and suffering?
Answer:
It’s a matter of building a strong enough and flexible enough sense of self based on your essential nature that will allow you to be yourself even when you are with your family. They can still be who they are and act exactly the same as before, but you will not be knocked off balance or pulled into the old dramatic scenarios. It sounds like the last time you distanced yourself from them you were able to accomplish some measure of that. Now you need to complete the process of becoming your own self. That may or may not require some physical separation period. You are going to have to determine that for yourself. Know that when you have successfully established yourself, you will be able to reconnect with your family in a mature way that will be much more emotionally satisfying for you.
Love,
Deepak
I am a 46 year old woman. I had been physically, mentally and emotionally abused by some family members. My family ignored it and kept it under the rug all this time. I tried discussing it with an Aunt whom I cared for deeply. I went to visit her when she was in her last days.she approached me with the question of why I did not show up to reunions anymore. I told her some things that occurred. She said she understood because she also went through the same experience. She continued with an explanation why I should forgive and forget. I did not understand but just agreed since she was about to pass. I was left hurt and confused. I attempted to go to a funeral for another family member but I trembled when I saw the members who abused me. I have tried to work out a compromise with other more trusted members but it has been too difficult. No one will help nor do they sympathize. I have a very healthy happy life after much healing in self help and therapy. I am a mother of two wonderful successful Asperger children. My siblings have stayed with my family and no one including them really have anything to do with me or my children. So much more but all based on drama abuse etc...I feel awful my children are not familiar with my family but i feel it is for the best. I just really miss my siblings and make effort to keep in touch. They don't and im not sure if i am in denial but I am certainly confused.
I am a 46 year old woman. I had been physically, mentally and emotionally abused by some family members. My family ignored it and kept it under the rug all this time. I tried discussing it with an Aunt whom I cared for deeply. I went to visit her when she was in her last days.she approached me with the question of why I did not show up to reunions anymore. I told her some things that occurred. She said she understood because she also went through the same experience. She continued with an explanation why I should forgive and forget. I did not understand but just agreed since she was about to pass. I was left hurt and confused. I attempted to go to a funeral for another family member but I trembled when I saw the members who abused me. I have tried to work out a compromise with other more trusted members but it has been too difficult. No one will help nor do they sympathize. I have a very healthy happy life after much healing in self help and therapy. I am a mother of two wonderful successful Asperger children. My siblings have stayed with my family and no one including them really have anything to do with me or my children. So much more but all based on drama abuse etc...I feel awful my children are not familiar with my family but i feel it is for the best. I just really miss my siblings and make effort to keep in touch. They don't and im not sure if i am in denial but I am certainly confused.
I am a 46 year old woman. I had been physically, mentally and emotionally abused by some family members. My family ignored it and kept it under the rug all this time. I tried discussing it with an Aunt whom I cared for deeply. I went to visit her when she was in her last days.she approached me with the question of why I did not show up to reunions anymore. I told her some things that occurred. She said she understood because she also went through the same experience. She continued with an explanation why I should forgive and forget. I did not understand but just agreed since she was about to pass. I was left hurt and confused. I attempted to go to a funeral for another family member but I trembled when I saw the members who abused me. I have tried to work out a compromise with other more trusted members but it has been too difficult. No one will help nor do they sympathize. I have a very healthy happy life after much healing in self help and therapy. I am a mother of two wonderful successful Asperger children. My siblings have stayed with my family and no one including them really have anything to do with me or my children. So much more but all based on drama abuse etc...I feel awful my children are not familiar with my family but i feel it is for the best. I just really miss my siblings and make effort to keep in touch. They don't and im not sure if i am in denial but I am certainly confused.