Ego Protection.

Question:

Dear Deepak.

I am at point where my ego sometimes uses my spiritual understanding as a guise to “protect” itself. This happens during the times I consider getting back in contact to my ex-partner of 6 years. We were twin flames and shared a very deep bond. My question is: Every time I think about contacting him which arises from thoughts like ” you control your own reality, do not be worried that you will be hurt again as only you influence your reality no one else,. we are all connected so there is no reason for me not to contact him ” but then this other voice says” yes and I do create my own reality so therefor I will create a situation that is beneficial for both of us to come in contact again and when that time comes then will be the opportunity to talk. Trust in the universe i.e. myself to provide me with the correct moment for us to talk.” there is fear that if I connect again with him (by contacting him in this moment) that I am hindering my moving on process. But is that the ego hiding behind this concept of ME and my moving on process? because if we are all one then wouldn’t contacting him be something that I choose to do based on my awareness of myself therefor the situation will unfold as I choose to see it unfold? Or is it my ego trying to bring the past into the future by covering up the hurt and turmoil we both went through by saying things such as ” we are all connected, not being in contact with him is only being stubborn and untrusting of yourself call him it will be lovely remember all the greatness that he is” . Final point is when I do consider contacting him I get uneasy in my belly. Is this egoic fear or is this my intuition?