Doubting One’s Judgment.
When your mind and heart are truly open abundance will flow to you effortlessly and easily.
Question:
I am 30 years old and currently am at a crossroads in my life. I am getting a divorce from a person who does not love me anymore, but I cannot stop loving her. I also have been raised Catholic but have always been somewhat agnostic/atheist at heart. The commonality I recognize in these related experiences in my life is a lack of trust in my own judgment and in a guiding higher power. How can I find the trust in life that everything is going to be okay?
Response:
You say that you have a lack of trust in your judgment and in the guidance of a higher power. The only trust you need is the trust that comes from knowing and experience that your essential self is ever-present and that it doesn’t share the same transitory destiny as your body or mind. Your pure consciousness is the higher power you are looking to. Once you build your life on this solid ground of Being, the trust you have that everything will be okay is based on your direct experience and understanding.
Regarding the divorce: your job is to grieve and heal your heart. Don’t believe you need to find a way to stop loving her. The love you feel and have makes you a better and stronger person, what you need to do is find an appropriate channel of expression for your love. Don’t think that because she no longer loves you, that showed you can’t trust your judgment. Your judgment led you to be with someone who awakened love in you, and that is a net positive. You have no control over what others think or feel about you, and the best judgment in the world will not change that.
As you complete your grieving process and heal your heart, you will return to a sense of emotional equilibrium again. You don’t need to develop some trust in an external higher power. You can simply witness the higher power of your own love and your own nature demonstrate that everything is going to be okay.
I get that you are in pain right now and are looking at your core beliefs as a way to fix the problem that led you to this agonizing situation, but if you have emerged from this with your love intact, then your judgment and lack of trust in a higher power are not problems. You are actually in the midst of a valuable growing experience, even though it is difficult and uncomfortable.
Be very kind and gentle with yourself as you let the parts of your life reassemble. For the time being, your motto should be: to tend your own garden. You’ll be fine.
Love,
Deepak
