June 16, 2023
Ask Deepak

Cynical Son.


When your mind and heart are truly open abundance will flow to you effortlessly and easily.


Dear Deepak, I have a son who is 17 and a very deep thinking, old soul if you will. He is very sensitive. We have a very close relationship but when he reacts in a cynical, sometimes hostile way which I know is not his true self, I sometimes react in defense or anger, trying and trying to get him to come around which I know doesn’t work. How can I when he gets to that place keep from becoming angry at his reaction towards me in that moment when the emotion seems to take hold of me? He’s a beautiful person and I know he loves me very much but when he goes to this place he’s like a different person and I don’t want to feed into those reactions but cannot seem to help myself from becoming defensive or angry. Thank you,



What he is doing is what 17-year-old boys have been doing forever. They are developing an independent personality and sense of autonomy from their parents. It’s a good thing and it is psychologically and developmentally healthy. Even if his reactions are exaggerated and unnecessarily quarrelsome, he’s trying to find his center and own point of view. A sense of self that is not borrowed or adopted from his parents. Try not to take it personally. If possible, try to see how he is working to become his own person, and support him in that goal, even though it may mean that your relationship in the meantime will change from the old closeness you enjoyed and were familiar with. Keep in mind that the successful transition into selfhood, and autonomy will be the basis for your future loving relationship with him.



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