Understanding Gambling Addiction and Problem Gambling.

Though compulsive gamblers know the odds are against them and they can’t afford to lose, they simply can’t “stay off the bet.”

Signs and Symptoms of Problem Gambling

Gambling addiction is sometimes referred to as the “hidden illness” because there are no obvious physical signs or symptoms like there are in drug or alcohol addiction. Problem gamblers typically deny or minimize the problem and go to great lengths to hide their gambling. For example, problem gamblers often withdraw from their loved ones, sneak around, and lie about where they’ve been and what they’ve been doing.

Unpleasant feelings such as stress, depression, loneliness, fear, and anxiety can trigger compulsive gambling or worsen the problem. After a stressful day at work, an argument with a spouse or coworker, or as a way to avoid more time spent alone, an evening at the track or the casino can seem like a fun, exciting way to unwind and socialize. Gambling may provide temporary relief from or the avoidance of uncomfortable emotions.

However, without the ability to control the behavior, the detrimental effects and financial difficulty resulting from compulsive gambling only serve to create further anxiety, stress, and overwhelming emotions.

Relieving Unpleasant and Overwhelming Feelings without Gambling

For many people, an important aspect of quitting gambling is finding alternate ways to handle these difficult feelings without engaging in this compulsive behavior. Even when gambling is no longer a part of one’s life, the painful and unpleasant feelings that may have prompted the individual to gamble in the past will still remain. So, it’s worth spending some time thinking about the different ways to deal with stressful situations and the daily irritations that would normally trigger a gambling binge. Healthier and far less expensive ways to keep unpleasant feelings in check may include exercising, meditating, spending time with friends, taking up new hobbies, or exploring relaxation techniques.
Recovering from Problem Gambling or Gambling Addiction

Maintaining recovery from problem gambling or gambling addiction mainly depends on the reasons why a person chooses to gamble in the first place. Root causes that can trigger this behavior can remain long after the gambler has stopped. It is also possible that an individual may not be able to stop gambling until the root causes are addressed. In either situation, engaging a professional therapist may be required to achieve wholeness and contentment.

To assist in the recovery process, there are alternative behaviors that can substitute for compulsive gambling:

Reason for Gambling
To provide excitement, get a rush of adrenaline
Sample Substitute Behaviors
Take up a sport or a challenging hobby, such as mountain biking, rock climbing, or Go-kart racing.

Reason for Gambling
To be more social, overcome shyness or isolation.
Sample Substitute Behaviors
Work with a counselor, take a public speaking class, join a social group, attend a 12 step meeting, connect with family and friends, volunteer, or find new friends.

Reason for Gambling
Boredom or loneliness.
Sample Substitute Behaviors
Engage in something you’re passionate about such as art, music, sports, or books and find others with the same interests.

Reason for Gambling
To relax after a stressful day.
Sample Substitute Behaviors
As little as 15 minutes of daily exercise can relieve stress. Other stress relievers are getting a massage, deep breathing, and regular meditation.

Reason for Gambling
To solve money problems.
Sample Substitute Behaviors
The odds are always stacked against you, so it’s far better to seek help with debts from a credit counselor.

Helping a Family Member with a Gambling Problem

It is natural for us to want to reach out and help loved ones when we see that they are struggling. Giving to others can be very rewarding, but we must do so within healthy and realistic boundaries, as Dr. Chopra reiterates, “Helping other people is an expression of the fullness we feel inside, and in that sense when we give to others we are giving of ourselves back to ourselves. That feeling of giving freely and joyfully should be the real basis of knowing where to draw the line. If you let your sense of guilt or obligation drive your decision, then you will be trying to fix the past in the present, and that never works.”

While compulsive and problem gamblers often need the support of their family and friends to help them in their struggle to stop gambling, the decision to quit has to be theirs. As hard as it is seeing the repercussions of this problem, and much as you may want to help, you cannot make someone else stop gambling.

If your family member has a gambling problem, you may have many conflicting emotions. You may feel ashamed and be trying to cover up for a loved one. Or perhaps you are upset at your loved one for gambling again or angry because the gambler has borrowed (or even stolen) money from you with no way to pay it back. Before trying to help the problem gambler in your life, it is important for you to get a handle on these feelings and consider reaching out for support for yourself and/or advice from a treatment professional about the best way you can help.

It is important to recognize that compulsive gamblers are not able to control the impulse to gamble and to not take their behavior personally. Problem gambling is often an outlet for or a sign of unresolved emotions that need to be addressed. It is possible for a compulsive gambler to stop gambling by engaging in positive activities that support their emotional wellbeing.

If your loved one wants to stop gambling but finds that she can’t, encourage her to seek treatment and outside support. If your loved one is in denial about her gambling problem, you may want to consider seeking the assistance of a professional interventionist.

Tools for Family Members of Compulsive Gamblers

If you are coping with a problem gambler in your life, help is available:

• Start by helping yourself. You have a right to protect yourself emotionally and financially. Don’t blame yourself for the gambler’s problems. The right support can help you make positive choices for yourself and balance how to encourage your loved one to get help without losing yourself in the process. (See links to support groups below.)

• Reach out for support. It can feel so overwhelming dealing with a loved one’s problem gambling that it may seem easier to rationalize her requests and problems “one last time.” Or you might feel ashamed, thinking you are the only one who has problems like this. Reaching out for support can help you realize that many families have struggled with this problem. Consider therapy to assist in sorting out complicated feelings that arise from coping with a problem gambler.

• Set boundaries in managing money. Your first responsibilities are to ensure that your own finances and credit are not at risk.

• Consider how you will handle requests for money. Problem gamblers often become very good at asking for money, either directly or indirectly. It takes time and practice to learn how to respond to those requests to ensure that you are not enabling the problem gambler and to keep your own dignity intact.

Preventing Suicide in Problem Gamblers

When gamblers are feeling hopeless, the risk of suicide is high, and it’s very important to take suicidal thoughts or talk seriously. If you or someone you care about is suicidal, please visit: http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ or call: 1-800-273-8255 for suicide help and support 24 hours a day.

Nirmala Raniga is the founder and director of the Chopra Addiction and Wellness Center, dedicated to assisting guests in overcoming compulsive behaviours by providing foundational tools to restore balance and wellbeing in their lives.