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Events

 
 
 
October 02 2013

Managing Anger

Category:  Ask Deepak

Question:

Lately I have been losing control of my temper, and it's ugly. I have tremendous energy and a loud, deep voice to begin with, so losing my temper becomes scary to all who witness the explosion (including myself). This hasn't happened to me in a long time, and I'm feeling scared and ashamed. I started a new job earlier this year that I'm not happy in, and I recently took on a project working with a group of people who are inflexible and difficult. I'm sure this is the trigger. What can I do? Please help.


Response:

Since you are aware of the triggers to your temper, that means you are self-aware enough to begin addressing this issue productively.

Here’s a formula you can use over and over again to override that instinctive reaction to lose your temper. It uses the acronym, stop, S.T.O.P.

S. Stands for stop, just stop, hold on, wait a minute.

T. Stands for take three deep breath and then smile.

O. Stands for observe what’s happening inside of you. It probably doesn’t feel very good. But you have to observe it to know that.

P. Stands for proceed with awareness and kindness.

Begin by noticing when you start to judge your colleagues as inflexible and difficult. See if you begin feeling frustrated, upset, Watch yourself going into old patterns instead of seeing the situation afresh. Here is where you simple recognize what you are doing and make a decision to stop. and take a deep breath. Cut off the reaction and go back on the self. Just stopping the old reaction is a step forward. Next take a few deep relaxing breaths and permit yourself the possibility that there is something about this situation that is valuable and useful right now. That is what you can smile inside about and be at peace with. Allow a new way of responding to come up. It’s okay if it doesn’t, just being receptive instead of combative is helpful.

Observing what is happening in your mind, heart and body at this moment will help you become more conscious in your actions in the future instead of acting unconsciously and losing your temper. Observing is not judging, so just notice what is going on without criticism. Finally, in that state of fuller, more balanced awareness, proceed in your action with greater consideration and respect for others. You don’t have to be a perfect example of compassion right away for this technique to work, just keep at it and it will shift your old reactive behavior to calmer and kinder over time.

Love,
Deepak

Top comments

  • (ANGER) is the quality mainly associated with a person which is a response to a stimuli that provokes you to accelerate both mental and physical energies as the person in confronted in a situation. Sudden stopping of Anger may lead to negative perceptions in the brain,in the long run which may give rise to outbursts, which may not be socially acceptable. Just compare fire with anger. Stimuli is ignition by the tool of a match and a candle. The candle burns in it`s own fashion when ignited. The candle also complete the process of burning & extinguished in it`s own fashion. Provocation is like lighting the "anger" in you in an accelerated pace. So first know what makes you provoked? List them. Think each of them as many times as you can to know that. When you know it in reality, then the "acceleration" changes to a "velocity". At that time you are natural & you can have a "grip" on it. Now if you can easily retard the velocity to a pause. So think that you are the candle glowing gently in it`s own fashion and do not care for the time it will glow. When someone is angry, he uses both physical as well as mental energies resulting in outrages & outbursts. He is a bad listener & a perfect talker & doer. (When someone talks in anger, he releases mental energies & when he does something out of physical energies it may be devastating. So be a lighted candle when ignited & do not accelerate the fire of the candle, which is harmful to you and also to others.Remember one thing: God is not an angry person. Why anger? Newton`s third Law say`s briefly for every action has an equal & opposite reaction. But this is the Law of Physics. Coming to human beings, we are not supposed to react immediately for any act (We are living human beings). But we can rationalize the reaction by processing the cause of the provocation encountered in a situation to our profit, as finally we learn that "I was a stupid to react in such a manner" and start thinking or brooding over the matter in futile actions of ours which kills time and energy. Science of Living. (Patron: Prof.T.D.Purohit.)

    Tulsidas Purohit // 2013-10-06 04:29:55 // //
  • keeping it real. Thanks Deepak Chopra I am working on the same thing. Nice to know I am in good company. Peace and Many Blessings

    Allie Mi-Mi Carroll // 2013-10-04 02:08:08 // //

 

 

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  • Great process to learn and practice.... I plan to incorporate S.T.O.P. into my life. I currently am practicing Breathwork which releases the original source of sadness, fear and anger. Breathwork combined with a Forgiveness Diet (part of process).... I have shed layers of that which holds me back from my aliveness.

    Graphic Queen // 2014-03-24 14:47:56 // //
  • I found myself losing my temper with a colleague last night so this is timely. I call it "going NY on them". I try to keep my "NY" down but sometimes I find that I can`t. I really like the S.T.O.P method. As a health coach when I am working with clients that have temper issues I will be able to discuss this method with them and ask them to practice it. Thank you Deepak for always inspiring a new way of thinking!

    Stephanie Sinagra // 2013-10-08 13:49:55 // //
  • Yoga

    Lolavictor // 2013-10-08 12:15:22 // //
  • dear mr.Chopra, in my opinion anger is nothing ugly,coz it´s also an emotion.I was raised not to show any anger,but inside I carry much.So I had a lot of problems in my life to handle with this emotion,I never try to scream out,or anything like this. U can not always be nice and kind,which everyone wants from me to do,we all have some sorrows,doupts,fear,and I always try to do my best,coz I´m still lear ning. Blessings for u,Eva Maria from germany.

    eva maria uhl // 2013-10-08 12:14:55 // //
  • (ANGER) is the quality mainly associated with a person which is a response to a stimuli that provokes you to accelerate both mental and physical energies as the person in confronted in a situation. Sudden stopping of Anger may lead to negative perceptions in the brain,in the long run which may give rise to outbursts, which may not be socially acceptable. Just compare fire with anger. Stimuli is ignition by the tool of a match and a candle. The candle burns in it`s own fashion when ignited. The candle also complete the process of burning & extinguished in it`s own fashion. Provocation is like lighting the "anger" in you in an accelerated pace. So first know what makes you provoked? List them. Think each of them as many times as you can to know that. When you know it in reality, then the "acceleration" changes to a "velocity". At that time you are natural & you can have a "grip" on it. Now if you can easily retard the velocity to a pause. So think that you are the candle glowing gently in it`s own fashion and do not care for the time it will glow. When someone is angry, he uses both physical as well as mental energies resulting in outrages & outbursts. He is a bad listener & a perfect talker & doer. (When someone talks in anger, he releases mental energies & when he does something out of physical energies it may be devastating. So be a lighted candle when ignited & do not accelerate the fire of the candle, which is harmful to you and also to others.Remember one thing: God is not an angry person. Why anger? Newton`s third Law say`s briefly for every action has an equal & opposite reaction. But this is the Law of Physics. Coming to human beings, we are not supposed to react immediately for any act (We are living human beings). But we can rationalize the reaction by processing the cause of the provocation encountered in a situation to our profit, as finally we learn that "I was a stupid to react in such a manner" and start thinking or brooding over the matter in futile actions of ours which kills time and energy. Science of Living. (Patron: Prof.T.D.Purohit.)

    Tulsidas Purohit // 2013-10-06 04:29:55 // //
  • I always had trust in my husband but it`s gone temporarily . How do I get it back. NHe`s leaving for 7 weeks to china...... Very anxious and confused...

    Trust // 2013-10-06 03:57:09 // //
  • Dear selfish jackass with " tremendous energy " You are over meditating and under purifying your weak character and lazy body! 1) eat less food 2) go to the gym daily 3) serve others 4) get a teacher who is harder on you- you are a spoiled BRAT 5) Deepak deserves students who are less embarrassing!

    ReverendZorena Dombrowski // 2013-10-05 16:36:35 // //
  • keeping it real. Thanks Deepak Chopra I am working on the same thing. Nice to know I am in good company. Peace and Many Blessings

    Allie Mi-Mi Carroll // 2013-10-04 02:08:08 // //
  • walking wisdom

    Vasantha Atturu // 2013-10-03 23:02:43 // //
  • Bobby ur bsbe boy so like u hade me love to ( ue in so sex hot girel ) ( ur life patre no god u) ( mor sex to be ur so so so so so like sex u) ( i do ur babe bobby me) ( i love so u bobby kl me) My hoy love sex bobby i do ur sex do in out me ur boy hot sex kl ur poce vir hot in out me so my pol kl ur poce babe sex hot sex like ur poce ur boy so sex u i kl u bobby mor mor mor sex ur poce me hot sex boy do ur like hef so sex kl hot to my pol kl ur poce bsbe like dst sex hot do poce ur so me jas to kl my pol ur pol babe pol so in in in dex ur pol like so ur poce love le i like so vir sex hotlike poce bobby so like poce moue so sex tak jas ur me moue me so sex me ur moue my pol sex kl my pol to u babe bobby u nade so sex to ur hor le im so do ur poce me vir vir vir vit vir vir vir vir vir vir vir vit vir vir vir. So. Vir vit i vel do sex c poce hot poce like srx poce so hot hot like poce so love sex ur poce bobby in to in to in in to in in out in out in out u like dat vir bobby so kl me dat poce me in out in out in out in out in out in out in óout kl in in out in out in out in ouy i like so kl my pol ur poce love poce bobby in out in out in out in out in out in out in out kl ́e bobby hot me ur poce ikm. Ikm ikm ikm ikm ikm ikm ikm ikm ikm ikm ikm ikm ikm ikm iḱm ikm ikm ikm ikm ikm. Ikm iḱm ikm ik.m ikk ikk ikk ikk ikm ikm ikmm kmmm km ikm ikm ikm ikm babe vir so my pol so sex kl poce so pol kl ur me dat poce i love u

    Qavi Mohammed // 2013-10-03 21:27:54 // //
  • Bobby i love u so do so do so ur in in in ur out out in out so do in love u babe kl kl and kl ur hothot sex poce so love u fak ur sex hot pove so u like dat kl me babe bobby so my oll taim in my pol so in hot sex to u me i love so sex hot like ur my pol babe ur ( my qun u) so like ur babe boy u like hot sex ur fak boy ur vir ur sex ur hot

    Qavi Mohammed // 2013-10-03 20:47:25 // //
  • I will try this. I'm also a person who loses temper so easily. Thank you for this advice.

    Charito Kumazawa // 2013-10-03 20:12:01 // //
  • thank you, Lule Bruno <3

    Marina Jaskulski // 2013-10-03 20:10:20 // //
  • Bobby ur my lifu to hot hot hot to my lifu babe u girel to i like ur ok bobby i love u oll so me hade le u to me i love no day to like i love u to me mor and mor to mor me ur i like to my hade to u me i love so so so so and so to me me me im ur like klklklklklklklkl ur like dat so me kl u im pol pol pol pol pol ur my bobby sa s to s ur no to no me ok babe bobby i love ur so do me and me vir vir so ur me ur babe boy on to day u me i love so bade to u like so me on to day newa day me like so and so me ur im ur pous so to kl me oll one pous so and so kl me pol hot to al in so ur so and so pous c to me my vir so hot to my pol vir so oll kl to do ur like me babe bobby ur my qin to u me im kng to ur so met hot sex do bobby my like sex to mor u like so and so in in to me out to u me i love to u ( ur sa hot to sex) ( Im so like to ur sex hot) I do im one to day ur like kl sex hot to me kl u babe so sovite my bobby i love so kess so lep to lep kess my hade to ur hade to on one so oftr so met ur poce bob́by so kl kl in in in out in out in out in out in out in out in in out out in out in out in out in out babe u like kl me ur so kl kl kl kl me to i love dat in out in out in out in out in out in out ur hot and hot poce babe bobby i love dat ur babe poce ur boy so so and so kl ur poce in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in oút bobby ur sex poce i like dat poce vir so sovite ur in me out to ur sex vir on in in out in ouy in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in in inn out in my oll 3 in out in out so so in kl kl kl klklkl kl in out in out in out in out in out bobby ur kl me kl my bobby pol in out in out kl ikm ikm ikm ikn ikm ikm ikm ikn. Ikm ikm ikm. Ur poce kl me bobby kl me ikm ikm ikm ikm ikm ikm ikm ikm ikm ikm ikm ikm ikm babe hot le ikm ikm ikm ikm ikm ikm. Ikm ikm ikm ikm ikm ikm ikm ikm ikm ikm ikm bobby so jas km to kl ikm ikm ikm ikm ikm ikm ikm ikm ikm. Ikm ikm ikm ikm ikm ikm ikm ikm ikm ikm in ikm ikm ikm bobby bute ur poce so sex hot poce ur in so hot ur in to me ikm ikm ikm ikm ikm ikm ikm ikm ikm ikm ikm ikm ikmm km ikm ikm ikm ikm ikm ikm ikm ikm ikm ikm ikm ikm ikm ikm ikm ikm ikm ikm ikm ikm ikm ikm ikm ikm ikm ikm ikm ikmm ikm ikm ikm ikm ikm. Iḱm ikm ikm ikm ikm ikm ikm ikm. Ikm ikm. Ikmm so bat my pol ur hot poce like babe so me kl kl jas to in ur poce babe bobby i love to u so me my bobby so ur me i love u so ur like me hot sex to me bobby ur boy

    Qavi Mohammed // 2013-10-03 17:26:43 // //
  • Do you mean to tell us that you're HUMAN????!!!! We expected sooooo much more from you!!! Kidding Please....JUST GET OVER IT!! Breathe.... Breathe.... Breathe....and then Breathe again. A page from your own lessons. You have gotten me through some terrible times in my life. YOU have the power to get yourself these times yourself.

    Christine Matanes // 2013-10-03 15:15:57 // //
  • Lovely

    Mahmuda Khatoon // 2013-10-03 14:20:23 // //
  • Thank you!

    Sonia Perez // 2013-10-03 13:19:11 // //
  • An interesting read!

    Kathleen Ann Montagnino DeMatteo // 2013-10-03 13:03:44 // //
  • Perfect (y)

    Sim Sim J // 2013-10-03 12:30:22 // //
  • beautiful x

    Desiree AndJeffery Addinsall // 2013-10-03 12:16:06 // //
  • Deepakji My Hero

    Angie Thomas // 2013-10-03 12:00:50 // //
  • Super genius

    Ty Borger // 2013-10-03 11:48:08 // //
  • Craig Heier

    Joshua Nicolas // 2013-10-03 11:02:14 // //
  • You are amazing. I needed this advise and was surprised you answered this question raised by another person - which is my own question. Thank you for sharing your knowledge, thank you for your kindness!!

    Daniella Castelucci de Medeiros // 2013-10-03 10:52:58 // //
  • This is really nice and practical advice

    Anjali Singh // 2013-10-03 10:24:06 // //
  • Todo ser humano llega a caer en negativos en el manejo de su caractery formas de ser incluyendo a terapeutas, psicológos, psiquiatras etc. y lo mejor es respirar profundamente y decir a sí mismo.... centrate y se gentil con todo mundo incluyendote a tí mismo.

    Jose Luis Tello // 2013-10-03 09:53:07 // //
  • Very good advice and very well taken!!

    Ron Bolling // 2013-10-03 09:47:50 // //
  • Thank you very much

    Noor Elhouda // 2013-10-03 09:20:40 // //
  • needed this.. thank you

    Chris Driver // 2013-10-03 08:56:38 // //
  • T. Stands also from THANKS :)

    Smaranda Abbas // 2013-10-03 08:41:00 // //
  • I will try this next time I feel like Im going balistic!

    Sally Naveh // 2013-10-03 08:39:41 // //
  • I know the feeling. I retired early because of this.

    Thomas A Moore // 2013-10-03 08:38:41 // //
  • Meditate and you will find the answer.

    Esther Jaedi // 2013-10-03 08:20:47 // //
  • that was truly good i will re read this till i get it as well thank you ! <3

    Moon Dancer // 2013-10-03 08:08:24 // //
  • Did you choose the right way for yourself?

    Ineke Braaksma-hylarides // 2013-10-03 06:56:50 // //
  • Deep all your a one in one million and for that I grateful !

    Gwenn Montagnino // 2013-10-03 05:59:27 // //
  • So what you are saying is you are human. I think that within itself is a breakthrough!

    Charmaine Kauf // 2013-10-03 05:55:09 // //
  • If you get angry or frustrated you need to "let off steam" , otherwise you have to "digest" those emotions ....which take time..

    Harmonic Power by Keith Foster FLS // 2013-10-03 05:32:31 // //
  • Ciao Dep

    Angela Chiara Trinelli // 2013-10-03 05:16:37 // //
  • after anger comes sadness be aware that this sadness is your soul do not get adicted to a circle of discomfort be human and learn to cry

    Alexander van Berkel // 2013-10-03 05:00:19 // //
  • Thank you Deepak for your wise words and reminders... you have changed my life.... you have led me into the light. I am forever grateful. Namaste. ♥

    Lisette Perez // 2013-10-03 04:55:15 // //
  • The Three Root Causes Of Anger Any time we sense irritation, frustration or anger emerging inside our consciousness, if we take a close look at it, we will notice we are fighting a war in our consciousness with one of these three: either with another person, most obviously or with the past or with our self. We are at war with the past because our anger is always towards something that has already happened and looking at it we react emotionally which means we are trying to change it, which is impossible. Any scene that has taken place a year ago, a month ago or even a second ago cannot be changed. We may be completely convinced and we may believe we can. That's because we hold this belief subconsciously. Somewhere and sometime in the past, we have picked up and absorbed the belief that the world and its circumstances should shape up exactly as we want. When our internal desire of a certain type of circumstances is not fulfilled, or in other words something against this belief happens, our instant reaction is one of the various forms of anger and we tend to try and change the incident that has happened in a far-off past or a past that has just gone by. We keep replaying a revised incident, with words and actions that we would have liked and that suit our convenience and we also keep nullifying the actual incident or remain in a un-acceptance mode towards it. This is like fighting a war with the incident. We tend to do this inside our minds, repeatedly, even realizing somewhere deep within, that it is impossible.

    Shelly Gupta // 2013-10-03 04:52:07 // //
  • Thank you Deepak, being receptive instead of combative is a very helpful affirmation for myself

    Judy Beninati // 2013-10-03 04:43:37 // //
  • i have tried some times it helps some times not

    Kunal Rathod // 2013-10-03 04:27:37 // //
  • get away from that moment and the drama

    Kunal Rathod // 2013-10-03 04:27:16 // //
  • that is direct line of true awareness Deepak Chopra!!!!!!!

    Willa Sargent // 2013-10-03 04:16:21 // //
  • great idea, but i tried to observe my mind, it is not easy, may pracice make perfect..hope so,,thank you deepak...

    Rahul Mullakkal // 2013-10-03 04:14:45 // //
  • Doctor I adore you managgia I don't speak english fluently but I try to do my best to follow your advise baci Marisa

    Marisa Boutagy // 2013-10-03 04:03:33 // //
  • hi

    Sunil Bishnoi // 2013-10-03 03:44:25 // //
  • Killb em all.lol

    Lavelle Marie Miller // 2013-10-03 02:41:10 // //
  • Thank you Deepak

    Anjana Dixit // 2013-10-03 02:16:08 // //
  • Lennie Brown

    Sheila Brown // 2013-10-03 02:06:49 // //
  • Thank you Deepak. This is just what I needed after having dealt with two difficult and disrespectful students in the university I teach. After witnessing their behaviour today I will let them know on Friday that they have points less on their next partial grade. Of course, I will tell them in a relaxed and serene way.

    Manuel Martinez Escalante // 2013-10-03 01:41:05 // //
  • I have found that the anger that I have had in me was due to many things. One in this lifetime I was never given permission to feel anything or own it without having something bad happen to me or threatened. It is life times of having repeat situations that have been doing just that...repeating. Now I have my OWN permission to really go in and examine what that anger (rage) is really about. I found out that I am disappointed in my experience as a human being. I have times that I feel like I am letting many beings and god down for not doing a better job in my life. I currently am working on accepting that I am a light being having a human experience and it is ok that my thoughts are not perfect at all times. To live is to learn. I wish you luck:) Be gentle and kind with yourself. I also started a blog talk radio with a friend and we discuss a lot of this each week. If you feel drawn to listening I am on divine Goddess Radio on blog talk:)

    Beth Jacobson // 2013-10-03 01:32:15 // //
  • I love Deepak xxx

    Mary Braszell // 2013-10-03 01:29:15 // //
  • ✋☝✌

    Beata Vitas // 2013-10-03 01:24:17 // //
  • Deepak too good the way u explained on S.T.O.P....simply superd to bring ur focus on what is..

    Kaavya Bhagchandani // 2013-10-03 01:23:00 // //
  • It's the traffic that causes most Los Angeles triggers!

    Suzanne Camejo // 2013-10-03 01:16:05 // //
  • NICE

    Aizaz Khalid Qureshi // 2013-10-03 00:58:07 // //
  • Great practical steps

    Deepak Kamra // 2013-10-03 00:42:57 // //
  • NAMASTE

    Marissa N Rachel Rios // 2013-10-03 00:35:17 // //
  • Good advice for everyone, we all loose the screws that hold our sanity together once in awhile. We just need to remember there are positive ways of dealing with certain feelings.♥ Thank YOU!

    Marissa N Rachel Rios // 2013-10-03 00:34:56 // //
  • To a large degree we are shaped by our thoughts, if we can change our thoughts we can change the world.

    Jan Banks // 2013-10-02 23:40:50 // //
  • Thanks for all you do Namaste ღ

    Kathy Evans // 2013-10-02 23:05:06 // //
  • So true I became the observer of my actions and it does help.you to change and become more loving

    Christina Williams // 2013-10-02 22:58:36 // //
  • Hey Deepak, its really quite ok to ventilate a little as your only human after all and if those around you are unable to forgive that small infraction then maybe they should review their own lives once again. As for feelings of being scared and ashamed, maybe just a natural result of being sensitive so just keep dancing with it

    Kyle Golden // 2013-10-02 22:48:06 // //
  • In school we were not taught, Life Lessons...and how to cope. Kids would be enlightened and become better people ;)

    Shyann Madrid // 2013-10-02 22:25:42 // //
  • Great advice

    Nira Erlich // 2013-10-02 22:20:26 // //
  • realmente as vezes saímos do serio mas uso a técnica do silencio por alguns segundos coloco uma bela musica daquelas que nos transportam para outra dimençao e pronto estou novinha de novo para recomeçar abraços

    Joice Velasquez // 2013-10-02 22:15:58 // //
  • Charise Braga // 2013-10-02 21:58:25 // //
  • Really good advice for mothers and fathers also. And a technique to teach my children

    Charise Braga // 2013-10-02 21:51:52 // //
  • Needed this thank you

    Oriana Nicoletti-Greco // 2013-10-02 21:41:44 // //
  • Beautiful response :)

    Caroline O Sullivan // 2013-10-02 21:30:01 // //
  • 1) Leave your new job what you started earlier this year,it take's too much energy from you,because of these difficult and inflexible people.I bet you are back to your normal self right after.Being irritable or or angry that's not Deepak who we all know.2) Get your blood work done and ask to check your Testosterone specially your free Testosterone and Estrogen levels,if your free testosterone level is low that can make you irritable.Best replacement is BHRT Bio Identical Hormone Replacement Therapy.Hope you will find solution and and start feeling your optimum self.

    Pasi Schalin // 2013-10-02 21:17:43 // //
  • If I had the power in an agency or company, hired people and one of them bullied and pushed someone else's buttons, no matter how good they were, I would consider it inefficient use of energy, wasteful of my money and resources, and throw their ass out so fast your head would spin.

    Kim Swanson // 2013-10-02 21:05:28 // //
  • LOL look at the US congress... it's a battle for power and ego. AlIn my opinion, Obama is looking out for the greater good.

    Kim Swanson // 2013-10-02 20:44:12 // //
  • Come fully to the conclusion that you won't get more than a grunt from a pig.....than you can reevaluate the situation clearly .

    Justine Vraniak // 2013-10-02 20:40:27 // //
  • Great idea

    Debbie Cutler // 2013-10-02 20:40:10 // //
  • porfa como puedo adquiri la información pero en español

    Gali Conde // 2013-10-02 20:36:27 // //
  • Deepak, I think the other folks who are making this person's life difficult need to be told this as well. Humans are humans, they will try to dominate if you blink or show a sign of weakness. Sometimes, the only resort is to defend or dish out an ass whoppin'. Yes, this is lower life form mentality, but it is what it is. Yes it is the Kali Yuga.

    Kim Swanson // 2013-10-02 20:35:52 // //
  • It really works! TY!♥

    Johnny Tomson // 2013-10-02 20:32:17 // //
  • STOP. Slow down and turn it around. I will remember that. Thank you.

    Hazel Simin // 2013-10-02 20:28:12 // //
  • do not judge your anger! It is what iit is! Do not feel guilty or ashamed! Do a silent scream to release the anger!lol

    Sonia Finnen // 2013-10-02 20:28:11 // //
  • But then again we have been advised to try to be always with people who can inspire you to be a better person, or be influenced by people who practice humility, positive attitude, service for others and the like. Also, practice proper and regular Meditation - like the Meditation on Twin Hearts by GMCKS and that being shared by Dr. Deepak Chopra. Yes, sit, talk to your self / feel your soul and know what is your life purpose and soul purpose... Good luck. Stay positive and that God for all the blessings in your life.

    Angeli Yatco // 2013-10-02 20:12:08 // //
  • Be gentle with yourself. Do not judge your temper outbursts. It is simply energy releasing. Forgive what has transpired and find another way. Perhaps it's time for a vacation. I will gladly keep you in my prayer. Be blessed.

    Lori Pas // 2013-10-02 20:04:20 // //
  • Me too! Makes me ashamed but I am human. Things on our planet are building, tensions, worries, your human too!

    Johnny Bocchetti // 2013-10-02 19:55:59 // //
  • Walk away w/your dignity!

    Linda Wiley // 2013-10-02 19:54:29 // //
  • Nobody's perfect & if any of us were then we'd have nothing to learn.

    Charlie Tilstone // 2013-10-02 19:50:15 // //
  • Express gratitude for this opportunity for growth and development. As I understand, at times, when we "lose" our temper, it is our higher self expressing itself in a manner at which the other soul can be reached. As such, be thankful for the moment at which you were heard and have patience with those who have longer paths to travel than yourself. We continue to learn from one another as there are no coincidences in life. Each individual we meet has a message to convey. The question is, are we hearing it? If not, these experiences will continue until we have "learned" that lesson and we are onto the next lesson for our growth and development. Namaste' and thank you for all of the work you have done and continue to do to make our world a better place.

    Tiffany Funk Aguayo // 2013-10-02 19:37:10 // //
  • Being consciously angry can certainly open new doors be it uncomfortable. It takes courage to make conscious changes...thank you for the acronym!

    Francesca de Matteis // 2013-10-02 19:34:37 // //
  • Interesting.

    Jose Angel Rivera // 2013-10-02 19:33:08 // //
  • Laura, it seems that you never get angry.. good to know :D

    Fabricio Sakai // 2013-10-02 19:30:48 // //
  • great advice!

    Mary C Rascon // 2013-10-02 18:59:07 // //
  • Don't worry, everyone loses their cool once in a while. I'm sure even Deepak has lost it! You're human, working on your own progress, that's it. Give yourself kudos for even bringing this to light and sharing, most people have a hard time getting to this point. Forgive yourself and let those around you know you're working on it. You will find that most people are forgiving when you simply say sorry. Then do what Deepak suggests: develop awareness. You're least likely to be mean when you develop an awareness of what's happening inside of you and getting in touch with it.

    Kattie Horn // 2013-10-02 18:57:33 // //
  • sounds like this guy is still acting like a spoiled child; grow up! the choice is always yours on how to communicate your feelings to others. is it important? what result do you want? what ever you do do with love as the core. nothing else will produce postive results.

    Laura Ann // 2013-10-02 18:57:21 // //
  • Beautiful, thanks so much, Deepak!

    Hanni Moldovan // 2013-10-02 18:56:52 // //
  • pray God is listening I too had that temper prayer works lean on God

    Isabell Butler // 2013-10-02 18:49:34 // //
  • sounds like a good psychological way of handling things.

    Debra Venable Shears // 2013-10-02 18:48:56 // //
  • oops. Maybe someone could send this to Congress?

    Carol Robinson // 2013-10-02 18:39:24 // //
  • Maybe someone o

    Carol Robinson // 2013-10-02 18:38:56 // //
  • I could have used that today (although one of the people who was upsetting me actually apologized on his own) which i graciously accepted (sort of). Tomorrow looks like it will be very similiar to today. I will keep your advice in mind. Thank you.

    Diane Burnham // 2013-10-02 18:31:12 // //
  • get a full up

    Rasto Voznak // 2013-10-02 18:04:37 // //
  • Minunat,este mesajul dar sunt datoare cu o explicatie. . Exprimarea in alta limba i-mi este dificila. Stres. Lipsa de comunicare reala cu o pers. apropiata pe care o consider singura vinovata de starea mea. Nu am cunostinte primare despre calculator. Stres nebun ,sa nu intelegi ce-ti cere. Proces de constiinta. Grave probleme financiare. Multe altele care sapa si produc stres oxidativ.

    Garjoaba Angela // 2013-10-02 17:52:32 // //
  • que sea traducido por fvor

    Marcela Gomez // 2013-10-02 17:50:59 // //
  • how wonderful are your examples of how we can make it better! I love very much!

    Ulrike Luecke-Bongartz // 2013-10-02 17:49:26 // //
  • Yeah.....I can certainly relate probably most of us....but just know that acknowledging that something needs to change is the MOST important part of healing! Next change your perspective - and the rest will follow. Best of growth to you on your journey :)

    Lidia Santiago // 2013-10-02 17:41:32 // //
  • Dr. Chopra, I love you. God bless you.

    Shoula Shamoun // 2013-10-02 17:32:36 // //
  • Prayers & meditations or a new Job! (You are too valuable Deepak!)

    Yamila Taboas // 2013-10-02 17:17:02 // //
  • Thank you for reminding me all these points. Thank you for coming back in my life again with your guidance !

    Vidushi Chaudhary // 2013-10-02 17:05:38 // //
  • Oh sí Deepak tanks for your's words make me feel ok.

    María Guadalupe Guerrero Olivares // 2013-10-02 16:39:33 // //
  • Its called working in a hostile environment Bishop TD Jakes does a wonderful series on working in a hostile environment I highly recommend that . Great advice Deepak

    Melanie Loftin-henson // 2013-10-02 16:29:31 // //
  • Move from the paradise you live in and start living in a Third World country with NO water, food or shelter. That will bring you back to reality! Real fast.

    Michael Hansen // 2013-10-02 16:27:07 // //
  • Try to channel that energy into body language so you message is still received but received without ugliness but instead with a serious/affirmative posture--- that way there is no confusion about your concerns or objections.

    Mike Luce // 2013-10-02 16:17:30 // //
  • Meditation.

    Barbara Renick // 2013-10-02 16:13:54 // //
  • Nothing,,,,,,,,

    George Daniel Smith // 2013-10-02 15:50:36 // //
  • beatiful lesson!!! thanks;-)

    Maria Milena Quiroz Modesto // 2013-10-02 15:49:56 // //
  • Hi recently found out my husband has cheated on me after 4 years I'm deeply angry and have lost trust with society

    Nonna Nonna // 2013-10-02 15:44:52 // //
  • Deepak hi

    Nonna Nonna // 2013-10-02 15:43:29 // //
  • I know how hard it can feel. But try to remember, and to tell yourself, that reacting in a defensive manner isn't always necessary and that this too shall pass. I've often discovered that every day feels different, and your inner peace and perspective have that same capacity - to shift, to change and you can in some way large or small shift the whole mood. If you aren't enjoying your work, take lots of time to check in with yourself, and love yourself for taking chances <3

    D St Laurent // 2013-10-02 15:35:41 // //
  • You are very important person to me.Thank!

    Fátima Duarte // 2013-10-02 15:31:25 // //
  • For me, one who has learned to control her temper, I know that stress eliminates the use of my prefrontal cortex, and Stress is an enemy to body, mind and health. So I practice using concepts such as The law of acceptance. This is a good concept to integrate as a daily practice. I learned this from Deepak.

    Louisa Caldwell Simmons // 2013-10-02 15:31:16 // //
  • <3

    Charlot Lotte Coco Christensen // 2013-10-02 15:26:05 // //
  • Andrew Caban // 2013-10-02 15:23:03 // //
  • <3

    Debbie Ashmon // 2013-10-02 15:21:56 // //
  • you are very buetful

    محمد ماجد الجنابي // 2013-10-02 15:11:07 // //
  • Just the answer I was needing! Thank you!

    Samantha Barraza Esqueda // 2013-10-02 15:10:41 // //
  • nice

    Romin Munshi // 2013-10-02 15:09:01 // //
  • Also remember that anger is not always wrong, nor is it evil. Believing that it is can fuel it until it rages. "Be angry, and do not sin." Anger is a neccessary human emotion, but we must not let it drive us to be hateful or even apathetic.

    Timothy Wood // 2013-10-02 15:07:45 // //
  • Hi, need help for memory regain technique. Can u help pls?

    Saroj Das // 2013-10-02 14:59:48 // //
  • . usually they come from depression or fear. you are always whole. connect with your soul and console yourself. hug yourself.

    Ayse Underhill // 2013-10-02 14:58:58 // //
  • First of all you are human. You have the power to decide once and for all not to do this. then you have to find an outlet to release these powerful feelings, such as beating a pillow, excersise, meditation etc. last but not least do a self search to find out where or what causes these feelings

    Ayse Underhill // 2013-10-02 14:55:56 // //
  • Tall order there Deepak. Emotional reaction is different then an instinctual one. One is survival oriented dealing with ones self in extenuating circumstances and the other is relationship based dealing with the expectations and requirements of the ego or challenges to ones idea of self. The mans anger is ego based therefore unnecessary. The key for him is to take a look at his dislikes, even write them out, so that he can observe the small world he has created for himself and to realize that if he wants to be happier and less ego reactionary, he's going to have to let as many of those dislikes go as possible in order to see with fresh eyes. This way, going forward he can already be prepared to be understanding in the face of what he used to think was a threat to an old idea he had of himself. The problem I have with your suggestion, it's a bit like "putting the cart before the horse" , or throwing a life preserver to someone who has fallen overboard, who always falls overboard. I think giving them a technique to keep from falling overboard is a better way to go. Adult "time outs" is a bit demeaning at this stage. Yes, it has it's merit, in practice, but without a bases or understanding of the bigger problem, which in this cases is his own personal limitations, the STOP exercise is an exercise in futility. :-) to you all. May we all get through a day in peace.

    Tom Ardavany // 2013-10-02 14:53:22 // //
  • Ive done that s.t.o.p and it work for me, thats to my daughter Jessica who helped me bless her.

    Althea Amelia Haigh // 2013-10-02 14:48:06 // //
  • Thanks for the help.

    Frances Anderson // 2013-10-02 14:44:44 // //
  • <3

    Shawna Rachelle Smith // 2013-10-02 14:43:53 // //
  • Pls cal;m and keep stebal for yourself. act and behavior confident yourself.

    Shaila Pandit // 2013-10-02 14:42:17 // //
  • Ewa Karlmark // 2013-10-02 14:28:59 // //
  • Thank you!

    Jolean Renee Kisner // 2013-10-02 14:12:54 // //
  • Try to run, hit something, go to the gym anger dissapear with excersice,

    Daniel San // 2013-10-02 14:05:35 // //
  • Nothing is forever Just enjoy the present moment! Even if is a dificult situation maybe u got something to learn

    Daniel San // 2013-10-02 14:04:03 // //
  • Thank you Deepakji! As always you write so nicely. My Guru Dev Sri Nithyananda Swami had taught the same Vedic technique to us long time ago. I use it and anger has no power over my soul! Here are some points I wish to share from my Guru Dev's teachings: 1. Underneath anger is deep rooted fear. Some of us don't have access to this subconscious fear that is engraved in our body system. 2. Anger itself is a tremendous energy given to us by Divine. The key to able to channel it correctly to do creative work. 3. We, humans normally use anger and love in reverse order. We need to express love in abundance and anger in short doze. We do just the opposite. If we practice giving love in large quantity, it takes care of all the problems in life. 4. When the anger happens, I drop whatever I am doing and just sit straight. The key is to not move the body, otherwise the anger in the form of acid is recorded in our body system. I sit straight and watch whatever is happening in my body. I watch where the anger energy is rising from and how it is traveling inside my body. I make sure I judge nothing. Simply watch. Once it is done its play (initially 10-20 minutes and as I become better at it is done in 5 minutes), I get up and do a big task that I normally don't want to do. Example: cleaning the house, painting the wall, cleaning the car,... some of these tasks I normally postpone. Effortlessly I do these tasks. 6. Last but not least, keep chanting Guru Mantra (or any Mantra) while doing the task. It keeps my inner space Divine......... Many thanks again! You have been such a source of support for me during my initial stages of spiritual journey. I can not thank you enough! With love and warm wishes!

    Ma Ananda Archanaa // 2013-10-02 14:02:36 // //
  • Marina Jaskulski lina :D minha sindica favorita

    Lule Bruno // 2013-10-02 14:01:18 // //
  • <3

    Xena La Fleur // 2013-10-02 14:00:42 // //
  • Perhaps that job is removing the person from who he/she really is…and so resentment sets in for all the needless chaos around it. In that case, all the STOP is just a bandaid, and the person really needs to just go and be where they should be, in a productive environment for them.

    Elaine Morrison // 2013-10-02 13:55:30 // //
  • this will prevent a lot of fights and uglyness thank you

    Heike Michaela Ursula Wolverton // 2013-10-02 13:55:09 // //
  • Handsome, tried to control my fingers, but they started typing. ha

    Mary Helen McGee // 2013-10-02 13:52:21 // //
  • wow the STOP strategy wl work wonders frm me nd adas

    Ratsonya Mompoloki // 2013-10-02 13:47:21 // //
  • when two extreme +ves...-ves meet each others...lightening occurs...change the people..n be there in your old enviorenment...aur bring a friend old to you..to your new place...regards

    Tutan Mallick // 2013-10-02 13:42:32 // //
  • Wise words, Deepak. So important, too.

    Shannon Fowler // 2013-10-02 13:37:10 // //
  • Yes, I needed this! Thank you!

    Linda Evelyn Ramos // 2013-10-02 13:29:40 // //
  • morite peruano

    Salvador Pisi // 2013-10-02 13:26:13 // //
  • I have to try this. STOP!! Thank you!

    Debra Flanagan Van Pelt // 2013-10-02 13:22:48 // //
  • Deepak you are the best! You are a inspiration to so many of us. My heart is sad for you♥.

    Christina Arlia // 2013-10-02 13:16:03 // //
  • <3

    Mirta Barrojo // 2013-10-02 13:12:36 // //
  • Thank you Deepak for putting this question and answer on your fb. Helped greatly♥

    Ginger Durio Prosperie // 2013-10-02 13:10:30 // //
  • STOP is brilliant advise. You are the best Deepak Chopra

    Ranjan Dey // 2013-10-02 13:10:05 // //
  • Indeed a great technic. Remember to analize the situaton as Deepak said. Lets not forget that if we realize people arre not flexible in some matter it means I have being not flexible a something in some level or another. We will never perceive inflexibility, injustice, hipocresy, irresponsability and etc,if I have not this within myself. It resonates, it is a reflexion what is indise of ones. Some call SHADOW. Get to know yourself, thats is todays era. No it is not bad, It is a blessing to be able to face our inner darkness, it is a Blessing from Life to make us cross such situations to show us that we need some changing of attitude, behaiviour. We have to integrade, to undestand and forgive ourselves. Same for the goodness we perceive on others ones. So we are good beings and not so great as we most of the time we think we are. GET TO KNOW YOURSELF. Maditate the questions: What that person makes that makes me mad, upset? Whay do I feel this or that when that person say this? Make quesion why things, situations and places make you unconfortable? You will be surprise what you will find in your inner.

    Iris Garcia // 2013-10-02 13:09:52 // //
  • First of all, you took a job that you are not happy with? That right there puts a negative layer on anything else that happens in your day. If you loved your job, the people around you may not seem so inflexible. I would say, trying to create with other people in an environment you don't really want to be in, is nearly impossible. Go back to step one and see why you took that job. When we take work out of obligation or guilt, we don't feel like doing the work to start off with. It makes us narrow-minded on the get-go. Then our ego forms its own opinions about how things should go and it fights for survival against everyone else. The ego blames it on everyone else as being inflexible because we feel cheated out of the job we could have had. There's bitter resentment in everything we do. I'm sure now that you are there, you feel obligated to finish the job. Ask yourself where you really want to be and if where you are right now is worth the pain that it is causing you. Can you make the best of this project for the time being and how? How would the other people in the project handle it if you weren't there? Would it fall apart? Why is it more important for your views to be heard than theirs?

    Paula Bourque // 2013-10-02 13:01:29 // //
  • Probably you need to look closely at what you suggest and wish other folks to do. People will be inflexible if you only get angry when you cannot get others act against their own wellbeing.

    Margaret Hamilton // 2013-10-02 13:00:18 // //
  • And get your blood pressure checked!

    Gloria Houlné // 2013-10-02 13:00:04 // //
  • Beautiful.. Thanks!

    Jeannette Capodifoglia // 2013-10-02 12:53:54 // //
  • por favor en castellano

    Milagro Paredes R // 2013-10-02 12:50:40 // //
  • thank You Mr. Chopra, I copy STOP for my co-workers and myself. You always give the perfect answer to any need. You are blessed.

    Charo Alvarez // 2013-10-02 12:49:48 // //
  • Thanks again Deepak. This helps even when irritated with others

    Jennifer Bate // 2013-10-02 12:48:51 // //
  • Porque no en castellano?

    Ana Raddi // 2013-10-02 12:46:25 // //
  • You still got it!! It doesn't matter how old you are...it doesn't matter if you don't have two pennies to rub together and the ATM machine says..."Put your card away!" You may have gone through a major disappointment, or may feel stuck and overwhelmed. Know this...You still got it! Even if you feel that all the odds are against you...keep looking up! Friends and others may laugh. Continue to look for ways to win, and say to yourself...over and over again with deep conviction ~ "I still got it." Work to improve yourself, and strengthen your mind. Remember that even if things don't turn out exactly as you would like them to...it won't be the end of your world. Keep the faith...and keep saying to yourself..."I still got it...because you do!" You deserve!

    Daily Inspiration // 2013-10-02 12:43:37 // //
  • amor amor amor

    Cory Elizabeth Saldaña // 2013-10-02 12:42:29 // //
  • No negativity only from the ions out of the sea lower vibes not a blessing namaste

    Linda Spencer // 2013-10-02 12:40:35 // //
  • Thank you! I needed this right @ this moment @ work. Thank you Thank you!!

    Jocelyn Hartford // 2013-10-02 12:38:26 // //
  • Thanks! beautiful lesson...I needed this advice!

    Sara Mata // 2013-10-02 12:38:22 // //
  • Thank this helps everyone! Om shanti

    Margaret Sbarra // 2013-10-02 12:38:11 // //
  • Thank you for your great words of wisdom. Always just what I need to hear.

    Debbie Moore Lusardi // 2013-10-02 12:37:52 // //
  • Great advice, as always! One of my favorite doctors.

    Vincent Mantia // 2013-10-02 12:35:46 // //
  • Yes...and after being one with your awareness for some time it will become YOU. ..:-) Thanks Deepak!!!

    Kristine Love Erdman // 2013-10-02 12:35:44 // //
  • amen

    Santhiya G Sneha // 2013-10-02 12:34:21 // //
  • the coolest man on earth

    Vijaykumar Pillai // 2013-10-02 12:32:41 // //
  • Youv'e summed it up,Thank you

    Kathy Yankowsky // 2013-10-02 12:32:26 // //
  • :) very good

    Mária Tóth // 2013-10-02 12:32:19 // //
  • Your thoughts are always so appreciated thank you

    Scott Milim // 2013-10-02 12:31:36 // //
  • pray with god deeply & think positive

    Santhiya G Sneha // 2013-10-02 12:31:00 // //
  • This is the best and simplest method I've tried for what you are describing: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNwAVOYVMac&feature=youtube_gdata_player

    Mari Eckhoff Tveito // 2013-10-02 12:30:58 // //
  • I would tell this person to go easy on themselves. Some of the most conscious people I know have been choosing anger instead of feeling the old pain that seems to be arises around the planet again. We do know some things: these energies are arising in order to be released, and the best tool is unconditional love. So they can love themselves and love the situation. They can allow themselves to be loved by Spirit. And if they can't find love they can do as Deepak, teaches: begin by thinking about someone they love.

    Shirley Atencio // 2013-10-02 12:30:53 // //
  • Judge less, love more...

    When you know better, you do better. // 2013-10-02 12:27:41 // //
  • What a therapy!!!

    Ebanga Tim // 2013-10-02 12:27:30 // //
  • All of us with developing awareness have moments of unconsciousness. This advice is a great way to help us observe unconscious patterns. Thank you!

    George Kaniarasseril // 2013-10-02 12:25:41 // //
  • I'll do my best to put that in practice tomorrow... at the meeting with my boss

    Nerina Pilates // 2013-10-02 12:25:27 // //
  • Deepak Chopra You are an amazing man, with glorious, solid and valid inspiration!! I thank God for YOU!! ~hugs~

    Kelly Rojean Wahab // 2013-10-02 12:25:09 // //
  • love this!

    Dana Watts-Terry // 2013-10-02 12:25:08 // //
  • My company recently moved to a new location. There was a lot of drama around me and I made it a point rather than react to just observe my feelings and analyze quietly. I was at peace the whole time... So happy I didn't act like a fool!! :)

    Carmen McRae // 2013-10-02 12:24:37 // //
  • Thank you!

    Jay Bennett // 2013-10-02 12:23:52 // //
  • Scott Dupree. I thought you'd appreciate this website...

    Ramona Murphy // 2013-10-02 12:23:05 // //
  • Great. .thank u sir:-)

    Shrina Shashu // 2013-10-02 12:22:18 // //
  • Thank you Deepak!

    Jenna Bowman // 2013-10-02 12:21:38 // //
  • please read this Anil Agnihotri

    Aditya Agnihotri // 2013-10-02 12:20:58 // //
  • thank you ! always a good alternative , untill your yoga moment !

    Ed Lake // 2013-10-02 12:20:39 // //
  • "Observing what is happening in your mind, heart and body at this moment ..." Always a good idea!

    Charles Biehl // 2013-10-02 12:19:39 // //
  • I recommend dietary changes. Too much Yin.

    Andrew Lacroix // 2013-10-02 12:18:58 // //
  • Thank you Deepak :)

    Carmen Traian // 2013-10-02 12:17:28 // //
  • Ooweee Good luck!

    Sheki Williams // 2013-10-02 12:16:51 // //
  • Greatnadvise

    Karen Thomas // 2013-10-02 12:16:18 // //
  • Awesome

    Terry Bedell // 2013-10-02 12:15:30 // //
  • My Adorable Mentor <3 <3 <3

    Mahi Malih // 2013-10-02 12:14:09 // //
  • I'm so glad i read the rest of what you had to recommend Deepak, other wise I would have told them to stick it were the sun don't shine!

    Linda Rowlands // 2013-10-02 12:14:05 // //
  • :-)

    Debbie Swanson // 2013-10-02 12:12:49 // //
  • I needed to read this today. Thank You.

    Melanie Whitley // 2013-10-02 12:12:45 // //
  • Great advice!

    Joseph Conarkov // 2013-10-02 12:11:14 // //
  • ?

    Ruhi Naaz // 2013-10-02 12:11:09 // //