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Articles

Moving On
Question:

Dear Sir, I am 29 years old female. I was in a relationship with my childhood friend...we have known each other for 15 years and we had been dating for 11 years. Everyone around us knew one day we will be getting married, including myself. We shared trust, respect, unconditional acceptance of each other and even after 11 years we are inseparably connected. He had been a huge influence in my life, he allowed me to love my self and always be myself. I admire his personality, core values and how good of human being he is. However, a big setback has left us both in pain and grief. Due to some reasons important from his family's perspective, he cannot marry me, yet he refuses to let go of me. However, I broke up with him two years ago because I wanted him to move on in his life if he could not marry me. He should accept it, let go and accept his own decision. I was angry at first and then I was in denial. I never believed it will actually end like this and then I was grieving it for about two years. Now, I have come to peace with it, I am not angry and neither in pain. I shared very respectful, pure and eternal connection with this soul and I am grateful that Life gave me such beautiful experience. But I feel I am not ready to move on to allow someone else to come in that place in my life. I am 29 and Indian, so the pressure of marriage is overwhelmingly haunting me from all directions. Where ever I go, whomever I meet, everyone tells me I should not delay it further. My ex has also not moved on yet. Sometimes I feel maybe it's a sign and maybe he will come back in my life, other times I feel he wants me to get married first so he moves on without that burden of leaving me behind (although I don't blame him or have anything against him). I don't know what I should do.


Response:

I assume this longtime boyfriend is also about 30 years old. That is an age at which a man should have matured into an adult and learned to take action for himself. If after two years since his family disapproved of his marrying you, he is still unable to take a stand on his own or make an adult decision, then you should not put your life on hold. The hard truth is that if marrying you was the most important thing in his life, he would either convince his family to welcome you or find a way to respectfully go ahead marrying you and let them accept it in time. Be grateful for your time together and move on. Find someone who you can build a loving relationship with and who is ready to be an adult partner in your life now. You deserve a future with love and joy.

Love,
Deepak

Write Your Comment

Comments

This is wise advice.
Rebecca Leavitt - March 12, 2014
I totally feel for you. You are still attached to him or you wouldn\'t be writing to Deep. So here\'s the deal, Deep is right. He needs to take a stand for himself and say the hell with everyone else. If he can\'t do that, then you need to move forward. You will meet someone who can give you all of himself, just wait and it will happen. :-)
Carol Marano - March 12, 2014
Love can hurt either staying or leaving\nMemories remain in our lives because we made them
Sharon Sue Belcher - March 12, 2014
Dump his ass
Edie Ritorto - March 12, 2014
brilliant response! perfect.
Modiv Coach - March 12, 2014
E bukur!
Lindita Hado - March 12, 2014
Change in this situation will only arise when individuals find courage, to stand and rise up against whatever form of repression they face. For truth, happiness, Love and understanding shine a golden light in the darkness of repression in our World, the darkness will grow darker unless individuals shine the golden light of change, a part in this we can all play. Sunbeams & Rainbows Love Rebecca X \'God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and wisdom to know the difference\' Reinhold Niebuhr
Change Vibration Movement - March 12, 2014
que bonita foto
Arceli Laschmy - March 12, 2014
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