Is it possible for a relationship to improve with only one person working at it and the other in extreme contracted awareness? And if it does not happen what do you do when the person unwilling to grow with you is your mother?
By working on your own side of a dysfunctional relationship you can only be sure of helping yourself, but that change in your end of the relationship does allow for a different reaction from the other side. If you are able to resolve your issues that have brought you into conflict with your mother, she might then respond to you differently and together you might find a way to open communication lines and move toward resolution and a healthier relationship. It’s also possible that she will not notice the change in your or respond differently anyway. In that case you can only take comfort in knowing you have changed the only thing that is in your power.