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Gay Relationship
Question:

Mr. Chopra. I'm a 28 yr old man with what seems to be a major issue. A month ago i met a guy and we started seeing each other. We have dated several times and I feel really good with him. I have never had a homosexual relationship before, whereas he is openly gay. I have started questioning my values, and myself. Being with him has made me understand love very differently, more like a superior state of being, in spite of gender. It feels like a genuine emotion for me, but I’m afraid of what my family, friends and the people who have known me for so long might think or how they can react, due to our religion background, and their general opinion about gay couples. How can i go forward with this relationship without feeling like I’m disappointing everyone else? should i just keep it secret and enjoy the moment, in case it doesn't work out, or should I let the people i care about get involved and then feel guilty for their rejection? how can i deal with guilt if they do not support me in this stage of life?


Response:

It sounds as if this relationship is new territory for you and you are in the midst of discovering aspects of yourself that you have been unaware of previously. Given the newness and the uncertainty of your feelings it may make more sense to not burden and bias your exploration with the judgments of your family and friends. Their reactions toward you may cloud your real emotions and prevent you coming to a truer insight about your nature. So I recommend that you wait on telling them until you have a clearer sense of where your feelings lie. If it turns out this gay relationship is a short-lived episode in your otherwise straight life, then you can spare yourself the explanations by waiting. If on the other hand if this relationship is the start of something long term, then you will have plenty of time later on to let everyone know.

Love,
Deepak

 

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