Back to the list

Articles

Parental Legacy
Question:

When I was younger my dad would always come home complaining about how the house looked, and he was never satisfied even if it was clean. I told myself I would never be that way, and yet, I find myself doing it. I practice your teachings, try at least, so why can’t I let go of this? He passed a year ago and the grief is still there I think, maybe I never dealt with it. How do I let go. I know he is still here in another form, but I don’t want my children feeling the way I did when he acted like that. Thank you.

Response:

I think you have adopted your late father’s critical attitude as an unconscious response to your unresolved feelings toward him. Since it has been over a year now since his death and you still feel you haven’t dealt with the grief, it may be that your conflicted feelings puts a brake on your intentions to heal his loss. Don’t be shy about seeking out a counselor or friend that you can pour all your feelings out to. Someone who will listen without judgment is what you need. It can also be helpful to write down your feelings in a journal. You can even write a series of letters to your dad, expressing all your frustrations, fondness, funny memories, trivialities,… whatever comes to mind. The important thing to do is give yourself permission to unburden your heart without worrying about how it looks, whether it seems fair, or nice, or right. An open expression of your feelings will get your healing process back on track, and that is what you need.

Love,
Deepak

Write Your Comment

Comments

महिलाओं को डायनें,कहते लेते जान|\nकिन्तु खोजते लोग हैं,भ्रष्टाचार निदान||\nबच्चे वर्तन धो रहे,ढाबों में श्रीमान|\nनित्य मलाई खा रहे,जगह-जगह भगवान||\nभूख-प्यास की मार से,तड़प रहे इंसान|\nविज्ञापन से हो रही,भारत की पहचान||\nकालेधन का है लगा,जिन्हें युगों से रोग|\nवे दर्शन में कौन-सा,धन करते उपयोग?\nइंसानों के साथ में, इंसानी व्यवहार|\nकरें जो नहीं लोग वे, करते भ्रष्टाचार||\nअगर चाहते राष्ट्र हो,भ्रष्टाचार विमुक्त|\nतो समाज को कीजिये,सदाचरण संयुक्त||
Durgesh Nagi - January 28, 2013
Read Deepak`s books 20 years ago - especially re reconciling quantum physics and Hindu spiritualism. Great stuff. Explains some of the inponderable mysteries of life and how to put into practice previously abstract theories.
pmtod - January 28, 2013
Yo pensaba lo mismo pero con mi mama y ahora sin pensar a veces actuó igual que ella!!! Meda risa y a veces felicidad.
Lourdes Witzeman - January 27, 2013
hi deepak .never ever wrote u...i hv recetly gotq demoted for a silly mistake ...how do i deal with it...please help me to come out of it.what do i do
priya - January 26, 2013
Well explained. Until and unless a closure is not done, this unresolved painful issue will not leave you.
Shemin Kaba - January 26, 2013
It helps to ALWAYS remind yourself how you felt and do not pass on that hurtful behavior to your loved ones. In other words bite your tongue til it hurts. They will keep the critical behavior going if you don`t break the pattern.
Rona Frye - January 26, 2013
like that
Ruth Nabulya - January 26, 2013
..................I need this so Bad...... It is so true............ I\'m taking good care of me now........I\'m more in control of my feelings... Meditation help a Lot.!
Fabiola Cárdenas - January 26, 2013
Products
Events