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A Soldier's Truth

Dear Deepak, I am a soldier who recently became "aware" of the Truth. Being a soldier, I have seen many of humanity's horrors during 3 deployments to Iraq. Since that time my life has taken many ups and downs as the Reality of IT ALL hit me like a ton of bricks about 2 months ago. My marriage is currently struggling as my wife has noticed a huge change in life perspective from the ego-driven self, to one who wants nothing more than to love her unconditionally. Because of this complete 180 deg. turn she has become frightful and very standoffish as she has never seen this side of me. I don't want to lose her, but on the inside I truly know everything will turn out just as they need to be regardless. Since my moment of "realization" I have been doing A LOT of soul searching and asking a lot of "why's". Searching in teachings by the many great Yogi's, Guru's, Prophets and Philosophers. My emotions are on a huge roller coaster ride right now. Then a major panic attack of fear hit me. If what is the Truth is in fact "The Truth" (i.e. collective consciousness), wouldn't that mean that I was in fact Hitler, Vlad the Impaler, Joseph Kony, Joseph Stalin, Jeffery Dahmer etc. plus all of their victims? A sickness has come over me like no other I have ever had before. I ultimately fear that when this "ego" is dissolved upon death that I will go live any amount of these ego's an infinite amount of times if I am not ready for full enlightenment. I have read much on the Bahgivad Gita about how the Universe will ultimately reform itself after "the great sleep". Does this not also mean that "I"- you and me are not stuck in an endless timeless loop (i.e. eternal recurrence)? Maybe this is just my ego's fear? I do absolutely love life as a human being more than anything- the whole experience to think and enjoy a cold beer. I see the great things that we are capable of. But I also now TRULY see the horrendous things we do to each other. I never came to realize this until "It" hit me. I know ultimately God will have the final decision on all of this. Please send me something that I can help with acceptance of this fact. Can I manifest my next life(s) to ensure I never become these monsters? Maybe I am misunderstanding the whole concept behind "collective consciousness"? Please help! Terrified soldier.


The recognition that one’s innermost consciousness is the same consciousness that underlies and contains everything in creation is an awe-inspiring realization, but it doesn’t mean that your individuality takes on the responsibility for all the horrible (or wonderful) acts that other individuals have committed throughout humanity’s history. The decisions and actions that you take as an individual person accrue to you alone, and those actions have their effect toward accelerating or slowing down your soul’s awakening to its true nature. Once you are fully enlightened, you are free from the limiting effect of past action and no longer need physical incarnation as a vehicle for the growth of higher states of consciousness. So you are not obligated to an endless loop of births and deaths.

The larger cycle of the universe emerging, expanding, dissolving and then emerging again, is a way that the ancient seers spoke of the play of consciousness as a whole waking up and going to sleep. That entire process is seen as eternally blissful – not tragic or fearful. Joy is your true essence which transcends all our thoughts, feelings and actions.



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I want to respond to the soldier by saying that reading his thoughts inspired me tremendously. That he is so deep and reflective, so aware and almost already there where he needs to be thrills me. He already knows that he is now loving his wife in the right way and yet understands that if she doesn`t feel right about this new `him` he will survive and that all things happen in perfection. This soldier is a spiritual soul well on his way to enlightenment. I love how he digs deep for answers. He is going to be a blessing to his world wherever he goes and whatever he does.
Rona Frye - January 26, 2013
I was personally moved by this story,the soldier one,I needed a story like that... I`ve studied the Bhagavad gita and its has always gave me the most possible truth i could ever get from I have had my own misinterpretations... or maybe my own ... I can`t find the word but it`s like when you are growing up and you know something does not click... like all the types of yoga... I had one spiritual adviser who told me it was necessary to go through all the different yogas... but I`m so tired of the renouncing one...I have krishna in my heart but I need to have and experience all the yogas in all the different stages of life...meaning it`s not only now, its during your whole life... I want to be able to love and I pray everyday for this great opportunity,I know that you can love in so many different ways... but I`ve given krishna many years of my life and wish to finally love the man I love.\nis this too much to ask?
george - January 25, 2013
Well, i believe we all have to face certain realities to grow and become a better person. i truly believe that you must accept the realities around but do not blame yourself for anything or everything. you must try to embrace your feelings and not fight them only through acceptance of truth and forgiving yourself; can u find peace. \nFear is a powerful emotion use it well. Use it to love others, accept their situations and help them. listen to what you really hear inside yourself when ever your scared you might find an answer
Hira - January 25, 2013
Deepak, that was a gret answer . . . so when are going to achieve spiritual enghtenment? Are you currently seeking?
PresentDay Guru - January 25, 2013
Pratima V Bungsee - January 23, 2013
What about \"right thinking\" right living\" etc. How can you do that if you are a soldier?
Rachel Ellis Landa - January 23, 2013
Wow, Laurie, that is a really long response. It\'s also just a perspective on the human condition. I hope for your sake that you understand this. It may be a broader perspective than you\'ve ever encountered, and it may be serving to enlighten YOU in ways that nothing else can, but that doesn\'t mean it\'s right for everyone, because again, it is just a perspective. It can\'t be anything else, because no human living in a body can see all that is. The nature of this world is such that we can\'t possibly see all sides of anything at once. As much as I appreciate your contribution (and it is a worthy contribution to the conversation), it is not \"the answer\", because there is no singular answer to any human question, concern or condition.
Chip Transue - January 23, 2013
What an amazing answer ! Thank you !
Barbara Cooper - January 23, 2013