Dear Deepak, I am a soldier who recently became "aware" of the Truth. Being a soldier, I have seen many of humanity's horrors during 3 deployments to Iraq. Since that time my life has taken many ups and downs as the Reality of IT ALL hit me like a ton of bricks about 2 months ago. My marriage is currently struggling as my wife has noticed a huge change in life perspective from the ego-driven self, to one who wants nothing more than to love her unconditionally. Because of this complete 180 deg. turn she has become frightful and very standoffish as she has never seen this side of me. I don't want to lose her, but on the inside I truly know everything will turn out just as they need to be regardless. Since my moment of "realization" I have been doing A LOT of soul searching and asking a lot of "why's". Searching in teachings by the many great Yogi's, Guru's, Prophets and Philosophers. My emotions are on a huge roller coaster ride right now. Then a major panic attack of fear hit me. If what is the Truth is in fact "The Truth" (i.e. collective consciousness), wouldn't that mean that I was in fact Hitler, Vlad the Impaler, Joseph Kony, Joseph Stalin, Jeffery Dahmer etc. plus all of their victims? A sickness has come over me like no other I have ever had before. I ultimately fear that when this "ego" is dissolved upon death that I will go live any amount of these ego's an infinite amount of times if I am not ready for full enlightenment. I have read much on the Bahgivad Gita about how the Universe will ultimately reform itself after "the great sleep". Does this not also mean that "I"- you and me are not stuck in an endless timeless loop (i.e. eternal recurrence)? Maybe this is just my ego's fear? I do absolutely love life as a human being more than anything- the whole experience to think and enjoy a cold beer. I see the great things that we are capable of. But I also now TRULY see the horrendous things we do to each other. I never came to realize this until "It" hit me. I know ultimately God will have the final decision on all of this. Please send me something that I can help with acceptance of this fact. Can I manifest my next life(s) to ensure I never become these monsters? Maybe I am misunderstanding the whole concept behind "collective consciousness"? Please help! Terrified soldier.
The recognition that one’s innermost consciousness is the same consciousness that underlies and contains everything in creation is an awe-inspiring realization, but it doesn’t mean that your individuality takes on the responsibility for all the horrible (or wonderful) acts that other individuals have committed throughout humanity’s history. The decisions and actions that you take as an individual person accrue to you alone, and those actions have their effect toward accelerating or slowing down your soul’s awakening to its true nature. Once you are fully enlightened, you are free from the limiting effect of past action and no longer need physical incarnation as a vehicle for the growth of higher states of consciousness. So you are not obligated to an endless loop of births and deaths.
The larger cycle of the universe emerging, expanding, dissolving and then emerging again, is a way that the ancient seers spoke of the play of consciousness as a whole waking up and going to sleep. That entire process is seen as eternally blissful – not tragic or fearful. Joy is your true essence which transcends all our thoughts, feelings and actions.