Dear Deepak, I don't know who else to go to. The man that I love slept with someone else. I forgave him and we are back together. But it hurts. I have dreams and pain and things I do not want to feel. I have extreme anger with the woman. I think violent things about her and have violent dreams of things I am doing to her. I am not a violent or angry person. How can I ease this suffering and not let this anger consume me?
The pain you are going through will ease up in time. Right now the hurt is still too raw. Even though you have forgiven him, there remain deeper layers inside you that require further healing and that can’t be rushed. Eventually you will get to the place where you can find a secure and strong place inside where you can let go of all sense of revenge and blame. In the meantime, be patient and easy with yourself. Don’t judge yourself for your angry thoughts, just know that these feelings are passing through and out of you as you are healing. This means you do not need to take those thoughts seriously or think of acting on them.