Hi, I've been going through some health issues lately and have found meditation & visualization to be very helpful. However, I'm having an extremely hard time fending off negative visualizations that interfere with my healing process. For instance, often as I'm seeing myself in perfect health, a stronger image of me in seriously declining health will crash in and take the place of the good image and become the dominant image in my mind. I'm pretty sure this is because of my fear of becoming sick and dying, but I'm having trouble keeping these negative images away. I try to replace the bad imagery with positive imagery, but it's difficult and I can definitely feel how these negative images have affected me. Simply replacing the negative images with positive ones is a full-time battle, and I feel there must be a more rooted way of dealing with them. I enjoy your teachings and hoped you might have some advice on how to go deep enough to prevent these images from overtaking my state of mind. Thank you.
You are right that the negative visualizations come from the part of you that is fearful and resists getting better. You can’t just try to replace these negative images with positive ones, because the fear will throw up and endless stream of images and the positive images are not coming from a deeper level than the fear. You need to address the underlying fear as the issue you deal with now. Put aside the visualization program for now and now use the negative images that come up as indicators of what you need to heal. For example when a worst case scenario comes to mind, instead of getting wrapped up in the emotion and storyline, shift attention to your body and ask yourself where in you physical body this fear is localized. Dispassionately notice where the fear is centered. Then pay attention to what that physical sensation is like. Is it heavy, contracting, or light and shifting? Does it throb or ache? As you reflect on what the bodily sensation feels like, don’t get sucked into the emotion or fear, just keep your attention on the body without judgment. Now as you are breathing, start to see your breath going to the place where the sensation is active. This process helps to bring more of your healing consciousness to the source of the fear. As the underlying issue begins to resolve, the sensation will diminish and fade away. Eventually normal random thoughts will start to pop into your mind and then you know you have released whatever is able to be healed at that time.
You can then return to your previous healing visualization work. If the negative ideations return, then don’t feel bad, just realize that you are ready to work on some deeper fear issues now and repeat the above process.