Relationships and Trust.
When your mind and heart are truly open abundance will flow to you effortlessly and easily.
Question:
This question is about relationships and trust. I have been experiencing difficulty with a relationship between a guy and myself over the past six months or so. We are just friends, but the relationship has the potential to move to a more romantic connection based on a strong friendship. We care about and love each other deeply.
The problem is that I have had difficulty opening up to him as we have grown closer and, essentially have pushed him away. My fear is that this is permanent. I vowed to work on my issues, taking time away from the relationship, and told him that things would be easier for the both of us afterward. He will not speak to me anymore. I suspect that he is so sensitive, that anything I do just makes things worse. I feel like I am in quicksand and not able to make things better.
I know that men are actually more sensitive than women when they are completely vulnerable. Do you have any suggestions for how I can slowly build trust back with him and gently convince him to become open to the relationship being on the road to improvement? What are some things I can do show him that I am willing to open up?
Response:
I suspect that the message he is getting from you is that you do not trust being in a more intimate relationship with him beyond friendship and that you have not given him a reason to believe you ever will. You admit pushing him away saying you will work on your issues, but that means you are not even allowing him to your life in any way to help you develop trust. You expect him to be friendly and engaged with you while you take the time you need to work on your issues. This is not a problem of his hypersensitivity, but of your unrealistic expectations of how an intimate relationship develops.
There is always a risk-taking step involved in taking a relationship beyond friendship and trust issues will often be a big part of that, but if everyone waited until they had fixed their trust issues before falling in love, there would be no intimate relationship. Follow your heart on this, not your head.
Love,
Deepak
