July 13, 2023
Ask Deepak

How can I stop people from treating me unfairly?.


When your mind and heart are truly open abundance will flow to you effortlessly and easily.


You say relationships are mirrors to how we treat ourselves. Wisdom traditions say we are not responsible of how other people treat us, that we are only responsible of our own behavior. These two references seem to contradict themselves. Now, when I notice a fair amount of people treating me in a certain way…unfairly of course…how do I know if it’s mirroring something inside or if it has nothing to do with me? Please clarify this! Thanks.



The mirror relationships means that how we feel in response to the other person’s words or behavior is a mirror of some of our own self-beliefs and attitudes we hold about ourselves. This doesn’t apply to all responses we have to others, it pertains to those reactions we have that are disproportionate or exaggerated compared to what a neutral response would be.

To say we only have control and responsibility for our own actions, not anyone else’s, is a corollary point to the mirror of relationships. We can’t control other’s behavior, but we can control our interpretation of their behavior, and that is how we maintain control of our peace of mind and wellbeing. So for instance, someone does an inconsiderate, selfish action, and you feel very hurt, because it mirrors a belief from your past that says” unfair things happen to me because it is an unfair, mean world and I hate that.”  Realizing that you can’t change that person’s actions, but that you can change your interpretation of his actions will make all the difference. When you clear your conditioned beliefs about being a victim of injustice, and simply see that behavior as being driven by the limited, selfish perspective of that person thinking he could only get what he wanted at the expense of another. It’s neither fair, nor unfair, and when you know that inside you, there is nothing to get mirrored in his behavior, and you can carry on without distress.



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