Getting Back to Silent Mind.

Question:

Hi Deepak, around a year ago I had an experience where my mind went completely silent. There was just an awareness, no thoughts and I wasn’t aware I had slipped into this state until I came out of it, it only lasted a few seconds or so. Following this experience I had a week where I experienced things I had never experienced before. I had a perfectly focused clear mind, I felt sane for the first time in my life even though I had never considered myself unsane before, I felt loved and cared for in a way I can’t describe, I could take in my surroundings and see them in a way I hadn’t before, I felt a presence everywhere, I felt happy and knew without any uncertain terms that everything that had happened in my life up to now, had all happened perfectly and had realizations about my past. After about a week it slowly faded away, so slow it was hard to notice at the time and before I knew it I was back to my old ways, forgot how it all felt and seemed to of forgot the realizations about my past. At the time prior to this week I felt heartbroken due to a relationship I had just came out of and was literally at rock bottom. I can’t forget this experience, it seems impossible to just move on and act like it never happened. Ever since I’ve just wanted to get back there and have this strong, burning desire to do that. Ever since I’ve had this urge and want everyone to feel what I did. Even though I went back to my old self after, something has changed but I can’t put my finger on. Can you help explain what happened to me? Why did it happen? What to do next? 

I’ve felt so lonely ever since as I have no clue what happened and frustrated because to try and put it into words to anyone is so frustrating. Thank you for all the wisdom you give us every day.