Finding one’s way after war.
When your mind and heart are truly open abundance will flow to you effortlessly and easily.
Question:
I am young man, a combat veteran of the US ARMY, after my deployment to Iraq I was diagnosed with PTSD. As a result of my PTSD, my wife and I of two years have just recently decided to divorce. Over the last few days, I realized that my entire life has been spent trying to find some blinding happiness to drive away depression and more importantly fear. But whenever I find this bliss, it of course always fades or dissipates entirely, and I am left feeling the rebound pain of sadness. Now, I feel like something inside me has woken up, and it’s calm and steady and I only desire now to find peace and clarity. I don’t know if it’s a place, or a person, or just a decision, but I feel like living in the next five years and planning my career and worrying about how long I might be alone is all just worthless, because it’s arrogant of me to assume I know what will happen tomorrow. I see today in a whole new light and feel like a life of peace is all I’ve ever wanted, but I just didn’t know the difference between peace and glee. I’ve read your ideas, checked out your site, and my question is, am I on the right track?
Response:
You are most definitely on the right track. The calm and steady presence that has awoken within you is the emergence of your core self. The knowledge that comes from this silent self has led to your insight that what you are really seeking is a sense of enduring peace rather than intense happiness. With this transformation in perspective you shift your reliance upon the ego with its need to worry, control, and plan the future. These experiences all indicate that you are doing very well indeed in your spiritual journey.
I have to say too that I am quite impressed with where you have arrived at given all you have gone through recently. In your short life you have already seen and endured situations as a combat soldier that most of us will never have to in our entire lives. Given the scars you carry from your war time and the more recent pain of your divorce, it would be understandable if you hadn’t found your inner bearings for some time. It is a great testament to your honesty and sincerity that you took the raw materials of your life experience and found what was real and true deep inside of you.
Love,
Deepak
