Fear of the Opposite Sex.
When your mind and heart are truly open abundance will flow to you effortlessly and easily.
Question:
How does one deal with paralyzing fear of the opposite sex? I am a single, successful male who would really like to have a girlfriend, and eventually a wife. I have been meditating for years, and over a fairly long period of time up to now, the universe has responded to my desire by placing many available women within my sphere of daily experiences. But I am not just shy about making the first move, I’m terrified! When the time comes to either take the opportunity or lose it forever, the negative effects of adrenaline kick in, my brain freezes up, and given fight or flight, I flee. Then I chastise myself afterwards for hours for being such a coward.
What can I do to break this cycle? It isn’t as simple as just making a decision to take the plunge, for in my panic, the very wits necessary for initiating a conversation that might lead to asking for a phone number or a date desert me.
Response:
If you need a way to go out on dates that can get you past your fear of rejection, then have some friends or family set you up on some dates. Or you could use a on-line dating service. Start out with easy, non-pressure meet-ups like joining her for coffee or lunch. If you two enjoy that, then ask her to dinner and/or movie. Don’t pressure yourself into thinking you have to be liked by every date. Allow them to have their natural response to you, just as you will have your response to them. When you find someone that you like and they like you, don’t let yourself be pushed into believing that intimacy must be rushed or follow some external undefined expectations. Let the natural growth of feelings between you two be your guide.
Love,
Deepak
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Fear of the Opposite Sex.
When your mind and heart are truly open abundance will flow to you effortlessly and easily.
Question:
How does one deal with paralyzing fear of the opposite sex? I am a single, successful male who would really like to have a girlfriend, and eventually a wife. I have been meditating for years, and over a fairly long period of time up to now, the universe has responded to my desire by placing many available women within my sphere of daily experiences. But I am not just shy about making the first move, I'm terrified! When the time comes to either take the opportunity or lose it forever, the negative effects of adrenaline kick in, my brain freezes up, and given fight or flight, I flee. Then I chastise myself afterwards for hours for being such a coward. What can I do to break this cycle? It isn't as simple as just making a decision to take the plunge, for in my panic, the very wits necessary for initiating a conversation that might lead to asking for a phone number or a date desert me.
Answer:
If you need a way to go out on dates that can get you past your fear of rejection, then have some friends or family set you up on some dates. Or you could even use a on-line dating service. Start out with easy, non-pressure meet ups like joining her for coffee or lunch. If you two enjoy that, then ask her to dinner and/or movie. Don’t pressure yourself into thinking you have to be liked by every one of these dates. Allow them to have their natural response to you, just as you will have your response to them. When you find someone that you like and they like you, don’t let yourself be pushed into believing that intimacy must be rushed or follow some undefined expectations. Let the natural growth of feelings between you two be your guide.
Love,
Deepak
My best advice would be to set yourself a challenge to talk to and ask out between 5 to 10 women in one day. Don`t expect a yes, instead expect a few rejections. Take it all in your stride and I can assure you that by the time you reach the 3-4 woman your fears will have gone. All the fears you had will seem silly as the worst that you thought might happen will now seem silly and unrealistic. Good luck my friend.
It feels wonderful to know that careful man exists.I used to be like this,terrified of men then got married off by my parents.Since he was my first man,i was very hopeful and all excited but he turned out to be a retired casanova (uffhh) All d best guy,dont rush !!! Be honest with ur feelings ,take it slow.Dont tolerate anyone. love n peace
Remember that women can be scared too! For many people, the dating arena is scary. Congratulations on the success of your meditation in bringing opportunities to you and shining a light on this small thing you need to deal with. I would suggest a bit of role play with a female friend you are not romantically interested in (and not related to, because that would be odd!) - get her to play the role of a potential date, and act out the scenarios until you are comfortable with what to say and how she reacts (have her play the `yes`, `no`, `get lost` roles). Practice makes perfect...and good luck! x