March 7, 2022
Ask Deepak

Arranged Marriages.


When your mind and heart are truly open abundance will flow to you effortlessly and easily.


Dear Deepak, I would like to know what your view is on Forced arranged marriages. I was forced to get married at 22, in the midst of my studies, when I was in no way ready to make such a decision or commitment. At the time I was at the getting to know stage with my now boyfriend. My “husband” went back abroad till I completed my studies. I have been stuck in the middle of these two men, not knowing what to do. As one came by force and the other was my choice. The man I am married to is not a bad person and does exhibit some similar qualities to myself. He married me knowing that I was not ok with it and then said it was ok that I was not committed! He now expects me to make up my mind and uses the word divorce to get me to do things. My boyfriend exhibits qualities I like but seems quite different to me, and it is a bit difficult to have a deep relationship because of our differences and I expect more compassion and love, which I have been giving whole-heartedly being understanding of his differences – I do feel a bit drained now though as I don’t receive things I feel like I need. I am not sure what to do. Was I meant to be with the man I married by force although it was not my choice? I am afraid if I do give in to it, whether I would be able to stay committed to him… This is a very complicated and stressful situation to be in and I feel so lost 🙁


Even marriages that start out as marriages of choice where each is head over heels in love, can change, become confusing and one wonders if a different relationship is the answer. So even though your question about marital happiness seems to be about arranged or unarranged marriages, it really isn’t. Finding love and meaning in partnership is really a matter of knowing your own heart. And it may seem that the right choice is choosing the partner who can give you more of the love and compassion you feel you need. But that is actually a self-deception because that feeling of lack of love comes from a lack of self-love and the only person that can fully fill that need is you. What you really need to do is discover who you love and want to grow in love with. It’s about the love you have to offer them, not the love they have to offer you.



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