Overcoming Painful Memories
Category: Ask Deepak
What is the best way to get over painful memories, or to get over bad things that have happened in the past? Or to forget people who have changed on you, and believe you to be a bad person but they really do not know the truth about you and that you are a good person. That you try and stick to God's ways even if you are not the best devotee. How do you move on from not thinking about people who have betrayed you and look at you as you betrayed them because they refuse to believe the truth?
The best way to get past the past is embrace the present moment. When you are fully awake and alive to the present, you will find that you automatically let go of the painful past. Meditation is a powerful tool to cultivate present awareness, because as you anchor your being in the eternal now that is your true self, you establish a core consciousness of identity that no longer looks to the past or the future. Being secure in your own self allows you to safely acknowledge the old pain and that acceptance then will heal those wounds.
Love,
Deepak
All comments
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painful memories create short circuits.your whole machinery gets effected this can be tried- reliving (which will lead to a catharsis) expression (let it all hang out without holding back) gaining insight (or a higher perspective) sometimes the only way a puzzle can be solved is by dissolving it.
adi // 2012-02-25 02:55:34 // 0 Like(s) // -
To be honest it is quite difficult to be grounded in the now without memory of the past but we take it with us until we dissolve it. I hope to be able to reach the now with a complete sense of harmony with all beings. included the ones who hurt me. Love is always embracing us in the now, and also embracing those who hurt us. very inspired "to embrace in the now" I am embracing myself now with the inspiration this beautifull place gives. and there is a lot of vibration of love that flows herein. lets laugh to the past. its over. The memory of history is important to appreciate what is important for the now.
valery // 2012-02-23 19:40:30 // 0 Like(s) // -
@heartphone...your words speak to my heart!! Thank you very much! God bless you! :)
Denise // 2012-02-14 19:36:33 // 0 Like(s) // -
Let go and let God.
jbaxter // 2012-02-13 11:08:50 // 0 Like(s) // -
This is a simple reflection about the issue of forgiveness and not directed to the person asking the question. I think sometimes it’s easier to forgive others for the harm they’ve done to you, than to forgive yourself to the harm you’ve caused other people due to your ineptitude or your lack of strength in front of extremely difficult situations. So my simple advice in general terms is that if you think by running away from “things” is going to solve anything, my answer is that it doesn’t and that the unintentional harm you cause to others and to your own self can be irreparable, and a kind of curse, that unless a miracle give you the means to rectified it, will make your life hell on earth.
crow // 2012-02-11 10:17:52 // 0 Like(s) // -
We just need you deepak not anithing else
ali // 2012-02-11 04:16:54 // 0 Like(s) // -
As per my experience, this world is made of both good and bed.You have to choose what will you accept or take.Here question is about PAIN. I will say its upto a person whether to take it or not.Suppose somebody saying bad about me but its me who will decide to accept that word or not, what we usually do we accept it and think according to them and thats the problem.We need to stop taking those words and keep hearting our selves by thinking again and again about the same.Its not that person who is hearting us that much as we do to ourselves by thinking aver and over.So STOP accepting those bad words and STOP hearting yourself by remembring the past.I tried this and believe me it helps me and my family a lot.Good luck.
Pallavi // 2012-02-10 12:17:23 // 1 Like(s) // -
What is your relationship with the present moment? Seek it out and find out...it really does help...the present moment is pre-sent it is a gift and love abides in it!<3
Ellen Cosgrove-Cuneo // 2012-02-10 10:29:45 // 0 Like(s) // -
For one it can be meditation a solution, for another one simply tears ... I think anybody who feels hurt by the past has to find his own way to get rid of the bad feelings ... but what we can do for him is to be a helpful hand
Sarah Maria El Magdala // 2012-02-10 10:08:18 // 2 Like(s) // -
I have just realized that having had unhealed emotional trauma in the past turns your time-continuum around - you keep "looking forward" to the Past - trying to change things there - and you leave your Future behind you - draining all the resources given to you to embrace it. I hate it. Have to get thae Hook of that Pain somehow out of my Heart to be free. And it does limit your visibility terribly - you are afraid of all the nNew People in your Life bearing the Same Pain upon you at a slightest sign of an ambiguity in communication. You do have to JUST GO FORWARD and put all your Doubts and Fears away - can them up in a journal if you want to, tell to a friends who Listens, but just Get Rid Of Them - it was given to you to Trap Your Spirit from Goinng On on It Divine Road of Purpose and Fulfillment.
the gifted one // 2012-02-10 09:16:32 // 1 Like(s) // -
Amazing words. Very well put
Deezee // 2012-02-10 00:50:46 // 0 Like(s) // -
As I`m sitting here with laptop on my lap, emotions are coming over me, How God given us You the passion and desire too touch so many with your reading and understanding of Self. We are bless.
msfaye43@aol.com // 2012-02-09 23:31:08 // 1 Like(s) // -
Great question. Helped me too. So well put. Thanks also for the answer. Both helped me a lot.
SB // 2012-02-09 22:52:48 // 0 Like(s) // -
Dear Deepak: You have done a great task on consciousness but to simply advice to embrace the present is a impossible task for almost every human being who has not been in the spiritual path for many years and you know it. "The power of now" why a few people can do it, because the real feelings of the present are replaced on an image of reality that derives of wrong conclusions or generalizations of the past. My advice is to embrace the pain of the past consciously with the help of a therapist. Then you can go on to meditation. Love
Carlos Mathieu // 2012-02-09 19:51:57 // 0 Like(s) // -
You cannot base your happiness on another person`s love or approval, just as you wouldn`t want to be responsible for another person`s happiness. As Deepak advises, meditation can keep you in the present moment, can connect you to your own inner truth and knowing. It`s a much safer ground to stand on. Check out my free Chakra Meditations for download at www.thechakras.org. Becca Chopra, author of The Chakra Diaries www.thechakras.org
Becca Chopra // 2012-02-09 16:53:45 // 2 Like(s) // -
No disrespect intended, but Deepak`s response is from a position of being extremely secure with roofs over his head on two (2) coast, cherished life mementos` around him, and hunger and mobility easily met. Yes, it`s true even the person who is homeless and on the street will find moments of contentment in the now, as a slave in the field did in song, but what carries them further in being are the memories of when they were free in mind, body and spirit... and the hope that they will know this again in the future - beyond the Hell of the cold street or a cold Master. Now can not always be lightened with philosophies... but it`s good that one does try to keep their spirit up any way they can, like you would in a swollen mighty river that is gripping you within toward an undetermined reality of sink or swim in the midst of those who have taken you life jacket to hock for their own oversized gilded vessels... they rarely spend time aboard.
Janice Luft // 2012-02-09 15:36:34 // 1 Like(s) // -
Some things keep us attached to past time: lack of control at emotions, feeling of responsability by any of the past facts or persons, feeling of necessity to correct anything in the past, feeling of solidarity trying to help, for example, some person who has passed, even if he/she has died. The best to do: each one with his/her life at divine freedom and keeping mind opened to make "the tools to cultivate the present awareness" as Deepak has said. As it has been said, too: Past and future don`t exist, just the present is at our reach. Do the best to do well and to stay well!
Cecilia // 2012-02-09 15:16:45 // 1 Like(s) // -
I did not have a choice in accepting the truth when everyone around me that knew me talked about the pain I was in but I had to forgive myself 1st then the oppresser
Brenda Mayes // 2012-02-09 15:13:42 // 0 Like(s) // -
I wish it was as easy as you suggest. I continue to suffer from PTSD related to many painfull past experiences. The emotional reactions arise before I have a chance to meditate or pray or center myself in the present moment! Thanks Anyway.
cagrlntn // 2012-02-09 14:39:11 // 0 Like(s) // -
I loved Dr Deepak`s response..
Padmini Maddali // 2012-02-09 14:19:41 // 0 Like(s) // -
Never expect from no one no expectations leaves you free, we hurt others too, but we are too selfish to see it, we only see what others do?
Malaica Valiente // 2012-02-09 14:04:26 // 1 Like(s) // -
So u just have to go through the pain. May be later it will be part of ur past.
Ali Rashidatu // 2012-02-09 14:00:08 // 0 Like(s) // -
Thank you for evah!!:.. <3!
Sara Sansone // 2012-02-09 13:57:54 // 0 Like(s) // -
Truth never hide. So u have to alowed them do what they doing.
Ali Rashidatu // 2012-02-09 13:56:57 // 0 Like(s) // -
This is exactly where I am in my life right now. I`ll be sure to listen intently to your response. Thank you so much Dr. Chopra.
Kai Lee // 2012-02-09 13:52:13 // 0 Like(s) // -
Thank You
RAG // 2012-02-09 13:48:00 // 0 Like(s) // -
Yes, meditation is the right medicine!!!
Punita Patel // 2012-02-09 13:45:55 // 1 Like(s) // -
Often our anger at others or past experiences are deep and disguised anger at Our Selves for, allowing the bad person or event to take place, or for not being clever enough or fast enough in preventing the negative experience from taking place. It is essencial we release this anger and embrace the negative experience. The fact we survive is reward enough and wisdom is Always to be found. Forgive yourself. Every living being has regrettable moments, but Not regretting, instead seeking the value, is where wisdom and the reward of releasing the bad feelings is to be found. Meditation fosters this process brilliantly and better than anything else. Thanks
Jonathan // 2012-02-09 13:44:23 // 5 Like(s) // -
Deepak<3
Debra Brakefield Baselice // 2012-02-09 13:42:27 // 0 Like(s) // -
go through the pain and out the other side....
Grandma K - Guilt Free Parenting // 2012-02-09 13:40:28 // 0 Like(s) // -
Also worth to remember: a person always speaks from his/her own experience. It is like Jesus said when someone insulted him: "You said it", meaning that the one who said it has the problem not the one to whome it is said. It is with all spoken and written words: they all are overshadowed by the perception of the one who speaks and writes them :) Love yourself is the best advice and insight in yourself the second...
heartphone // 2012-02-09 07:50:36 // 23 Like(s) // -
With due respect to Deepak`s words of wisdom... The important thing is to BELIEVE in yourself. If you have doubts about yourself then what others seem to think about you will matter to you and you will be drowned in hurt. If you know you are right, you should believe it. Also as Deepak says, anchor yourself in the present - live each moment to the best of your ability, focus on it, then your memories of the past (or doubts about the future) will not find a place in your thoughts. When you live each moment to its best you automatically fulfill your duty to yourself and to the Universe of which you (and your ill-wishers!) are an integral part. Accept the wrongs that you feel have been done to you. Accept them and move on. There`s really nothing else that you can do. If the Universe`s balance has been upset by those `wrongs` it`ll automatically correct the balance. Good luck with your life
Zoe // 2012-02-09 01:53:09 // 22 Like(s) //
Top comments
Also worth to remember: a person always speaks from his/her own experience. It is like Jesus said when someone insulted him: "You said it", meaning that the one who said it has the problem not the one to whome it is said. It is with all spoken and written words: they all are overshadowed by the perception of the one who speaks and writes them :) Love yourself is the best advice and insight in yourself the second...
heartphone // 2012-02-09 07:50:36 // 23 Like(s) // LikeWith due respect to Deepak`s words of wisdom... The important thing is to BELIEVE in yourself. If you have doubts about yourself then what others seem to think about you will matter to you and you will be drowned in hurt. If you know you are right, you should believe it. Also as Deepak says, anchor yourself in the present - live each moment to the best of your ability, focus on it, then your memories of the past (or doubts about the future) will not find a place in your thoughts. When you live each moment to its best you automatically fulfill your duty to yourself and to the Universe of which you (and your ill-wishers!) are an integral part. Accept the wrongs that you feel have been done to you. Accept them and move on. There`s really nothing else that you can do. If the Universe`s balance has been upset by those `wrongs` it`ll automatically correct the balance. Good luck with your life
Zoe // 2012-02-09 01:53:09 // 22 Like(s) // Like