Expressing Irritability
Category: Ask Deepak
Dear Dr. Chopra, normally I am a calm, peace-loving girl who loves to contemplate over spiritual matters and the like. However, as of late I've been feeling more and more irritable, even with those whom I care about. I don't want to end up becoming like the archetypal "Mr. Scrooge" in today's world, since I know I am very much capable of loving and caring for others (not to mention I'm afraid of loneliness); but it seems that my desperate attempts to calm myself down are in vain. What should I do?
There could be many reasons why you are going through an irritable phase. Perhaps there is a troublesome aspect of life that you expected would get better or go away and it hasn’t, and the frustration is erupting as irritation in other areas of your life. Be that as it may, what is revealing is that you have such a hard time fitting this irritable behavior into your self-image as a peaceful and spiritual girl. I noticed that you have the word “angel” in your email name, all of which suggests to me that you have a lot of your sense of wellbeing invested in the ideal of being a sweet, light and loving person. That is fine and no doubt true, but our true selves are much bigger and complete. Within the vast wholeness of our spiritual nature we contain light as well as some shadow We are joyful and peaceful as well as sometimes expressing anger or irritation. Accepting our shadow side as a small part of our larger self is liberating because it frees us from the struggle of judging and denying that shadow side (which only makes it stronger anyway.) So look into the practical reasons why you might be irritable and see what you can do to fix them, but also use this irritability as a spiritual opportunity to drop your self-judgment that you are not the kind of person who should even express irritability.
Love,
Deepak
All comments
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Are we all not comic in each characteristic expression. ? If we look to ourselves when we our out of the way, getting upset., expressing irritability, it is impossible not to laugh us out, to laugh with our imperfections in itself, and see the comic part of ourselves to get out of the drama. It helps. sometimes it is just a rule we are playing. but we can change the way we play the rule or maybe we can change to stop playing that rule. to make it more easier for ourselves and the ones arround us.
valery // 2012-02-23 20:00:19 // 0 Like(s) // -
great question and great answer. thank you.
Valery // 2012-02-23 19:48:59 // 0 Like(s) // -
same here....similar happens with me....thanks deepak for your valuable guidance....
kshipra // 2012-02-12 11:04:12 // 0 Like(s) // -
I know with this angel is going through. I am dealing with the same irritability and frustration. I try to manage the stress in my life (working, 2 kids, feeling overwhelmed everyday of my life) by working out and eating healthy, but I do feel like I am going to explode. I even had a dream that I witnessed and explosion. I know it`s my nonlocal consciousness trying to tell me something...
Danni // 2012-02-10 21:38:33 // 1 Like(s) // -
Louise L. Hay says in one of her books that the women who had gotten breast cancer had all shared a trait of not being able to say "NO!". We need a better understanding of what is the functional purpose of a negative emotion and to learn to express them in a constructive non-violent yet assertive way. Like, anger means to me that somebody has been infringing upon my personal space - if you confront them with that right away, it doesn`t have the chance to grow into a hurricane of an emotional explosion that would occur if you stayed meek and silent till it tears you apart.
the gifted one // 2012-02-10 09:08:40 // 2 Like(s) // -
New mantra I AM NOT IRRITABLE!!!
Working Wow with Ian Rodwell // 2012-02-10 03:06:56 // 0 Like(s) // -
Namasté, Dear Dr. Chopra, I’m really thankful for this answer, for the last 1 and half year I’ve been having the most difficult time that I can recall and all the stress and frustrations are putting me irritable. I’m a single mum of 3 years old girl and sometimes it is so, so hard! So many times I feel like the worst mum in the planet… But what concerns me more is that I feel my immune system completely down… and it’s due to all the stress and doubts and fears… Thank you, to bring me (us) LIGHT! By the way I’m reading your book – Perfect Health! Great! Om Shanti, Dr.Chopra
Yasmeen de Sousa // 2012-02-09 17:42:01 // 1 Like(s) // -
I usually skip over a lot of messages, but this one caught my attention and I am glad it did. Thank you!
transient frustration // 2012-02-09 00:28:49 // 0 Like(s) // -
me gustaria en espanol
Luz Perez // 2012-02-08 19:53:25 // 0 Like(s) // -
That was timely for me. Thank you.
Krista Carey // 2012-02-08 18:53:33 // 2 Like(s) // -
I loved your article and it truly resonated with me. Thank you!
Liz Manak // 2012-02-08 17:06:40 // 0 Like(s) // -
Does the moon play a role in our behavior?
Bonnet Baker // 2012-02-08 15:11:03 // 0 Like(s) // -
Ask and it is given, extremely insightful and relevant to myself and probably to many others whom have come across this post. Very healing to read "frees us from the struggle of judging and denying that shadow side..." What we forget at times is to embrace all of what we are and have to offer. In many cases that attribute that others may not like about us, is in fact an area that may benefit them... I will definitely stop being denial of what is going on around me, and deal with it... Thank-you :-)
MakedasDNA // 2012-02-08 15:07:19 // 1 Like(s) // -
I agree with the answer of the always inspiring Deepak. The art of living in this case seems to fully accept the irratibility, without judgement and with a sense of curiousity. Once totally accepted, the miracle happens...xxx<3
Mindfulness Therapy // 2012-02-08 15:03:03 // 0 Like(s) // -
I can relate to how she is feeling. I`m feeling that way at this moment. I went out for a break twice and I`m still feeling irritable. I also understand that feeling the darker side of me is okay, but it does feel "blah" and I am open to it for awhile and I am open to this feeling leaving soon.
Angie Shcora // 2012-02-08 13:49:01 // 0 Like(s) // -
I read The Shadow Effect... it explains this very well. Thankyou for giving us the opportunity to explore our shadows and light as well.
martha // 2012-02-08 13:45:24 // 0 Like(s) // -
I really LOVE your reply Deepak!
JVancedanceDUB // 2012-02-08 13:43:45 // 1 Like(s) // -
Exactly! I have been pondering why `happy, nice and good` are the only acceptable feeling state options?
Jennifer // 2012-02-08 13:23:57 // 1 Like(s) // -
I appreciate Deepak`s personal mentoring posts; we need trusted mentors and guides to help us navigate the confusion of life`s journey.
Pamela DeRossitte // 2012-02-08 13:23:41 // 0 Like(s) // -
Wow, very insightful for me also. I`m trying to get to a good place physically and mentally, but am getting so irritable with loved ones that I`m not the best person to be around anymore. I do have a lot going on but the irritability is out of control. I will also try to lose the self-judgment that we all have and continue to practice peaceful, loving ways and find other outlets for my irritability.
Sara // 2012-02-08 13:22:17 // 1 Like(s) // -
This shadow side is a new aspect for me, even though I covered it when reading C G Jung. Previously, I used to think I was a bad person. Now I consider it to be my previously unknown shadow side.
p_pendlebury // 2012-02-08 13:19:38 // 7 Like(s) // -
there seems to be a tension in the air. the elite are planning sone dirt
Aaron Cole // 2012-02-08 13:14:25 // 0 Like(s) // -
I love your question and answer format. ~Troy
Flourishing Life Society // 2012-02-08 13:03:07 // 0 Like(s) // -
Very insightful and relevant feedback from Deepak (as usual), but this particularly touched me because I, too, struggle with "forgiving" myself of imperfections. I work constantly towards a fuller acceptance of my self and the key is non-judgement.
Rachel // 2012-02-07 15:25:39 // 9 Like(s) //
Top comments
Very insightful and relevant feedback from Deepak (as usual), but this particularly touched me because I, too, struggle with "forgiving" myself of imperfections. I work constantly towards a fuller acceptance of my self and the key is non-judgement.
Rachel // 2012-02-07 15:25:39 // 9 Like(s) // LikeThis shadow side is a new aspect for me, even though I covered it when reading C G Jung. Previously, I used to think I was a bad person. Now I consider it to be my previously unknown shadow side.
p_pendlebury // 2012-02-08 13:19:38 // 7 Like(s) // Like